With congressional approval poll numbers in freefall (it’s now 22%, down from 33% just one month ago), Senate Republicans have come up with a way to eke out a victory in upcoming elections: buying your vote.
They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?
A new report says that FEMA is beyond repair:
Crippled by years of poor leadership and inadequate funding, the Federal Emergency Management Agency cannot be fixed, a bipartisan investigation says in recommendations to be released Thursday.
….Describing FEMA as a "shambles and beyond repair," [Republican Senator Susan] Collins said the overall report "will help ensure that we do not have a repeat of the failures following Hurricane Katrina."
Under Bill Clinton and the leadership of James Witt, FEMA was recognized as a model government agency — effective and efficient. So much so that the Atlanta Journal-Constitution wrote:
"FEMA has developed a sterling reputation for delivering disaster-relief services, a far cry from its abysmal standing before James Lee Witt took its helm in 1993. How did Witt turn FEMA around so quickly? Well, he is the first director of the agency to have emergency-management experience. He stopped the staffing of the agency by political patronage. He removed layers of bureaucracy. Most important, he instilled in the agency a spirit of preparedness, of service to the customer, of willingness to listen to ideas of local and state officials to make the system work better."
But when Bush got his hands on the agency, he allowed it to reverse course. He installed a director of the agency with no emergency-management experience. He permitted the staffing of the agency by political patronage. He added layers of bureaucracy.
He killed FEMA so badly that there now exists a bipartisan consensus that it should be put out of its misery and rebuilt from the ground up.
Net Neutrality Loses In House
Internet carriers would have a free hand to charge the likes of Google Inc., Yahoo Inc. and eBay Inc. extra for faster delivery of services to consumers under a bill approved by a House committee Wednesday.
The vote, 42-12, brings a two-tier Internet one step closer to reality despite the wishes of a broad coalition of Web site operators and public interest groups that insist the fees will crush innovation.
The Web companies had hoped to amend Wednesday’s legislation, thereby enshrining the status quo of "network neutrality," the catchphrase that has come to represent a system in which all Internet traffic is treated equally. But the effort failed when an amendment introduced by Rep. Ed Markey, D-Mass., was defeated 34-22 in a largely party line vote earlier in the day.
I’m telling you people, net neutrality is something you want preserved. Fortunately, there’s still a fight in the Senate about this, and prospects look better.
The Elusive O
Some rightwing Christian nuttery is simply too good not to pass on.
Via Sadly, No, via TBogg, we’re treated to the musings of a blog called the "Edicts of Nancy", and her unique theories:
The Left continues to tout the existence of the elusive female orgasm, despite all biological evidence to the contrary. As I have often said, if The Lord intended for us to have such things, He would have given us penises. But regardless of what the facts and common sense say, liberals continue to pursue their great white whale — and I don’t mean Michael Moore (Ha! That joke never gets old!). I’ve often wondered what motivates them to pursue this specious black-is-white reasoning. For the longest time, I assumed that it was merely another entitlement program created to pander to one of their key constituencies. Today I have my answer: Pure, unalloyed hatred of America. Evidently ladyquakes are the carrots moonbats are using to lead the women of Our Christian Nation over a moral cliff.
Shoot. She’s onto us.
Yes, it’s true. We (male) lefties fabricated the idea of female orgasms, only to pull you gullible woman onto our America-hating side.
I’m not sure if "Edicts of Nancy" is a parody site or not, but if it isn’t, it’s really funny.
Exxon Records Huge Profits …Again
Read about it here.
I watched The Daily Show last night, as host Jon Stewart talked with Kimberly Strassel, a Wall Street Journal senior editorial page writer. She was on to discuss the gas prices, and the reason for it.
What Stewart wanted to know was, quite simply, why gas prices were so high. Strassel, clearly defending the oil and gas industry, explained about how the problems in the Middle East were creating a supply problem. That, and increased demand, were driving up prices. [SIDEBAR: Josh Marshall snarkily writes: "It’s hard to figure why blowing up the Middle East hasn’t had the intended effect of lowering gas prices. Weird."]
Stewart understood that; so did I.
Then Strassel went on to talk about how congressional requirements of ethanol funding was leading to high gas prices, and Stewart stopped buying it (calling it, in a good-natured way, "bullshit").
Finally, Stewart asked the question that has been bothering me. He started off by saying that he understood the whole concept of supply and demand, but what he didn’t get was why energy companies were reporting huge PROFITS now (as opposed to income). Why, Stewart wondered, can’t energy companies keep their profit margin constant?
His guest stammered, but didn’t really respond (Stewart graciously and self-effacingly "saved" her, by owning up to being a layman who didn’t understand these things).
So, the question remains unanswered. And even this answer doesn’t make much sense to me.
By the way, very often you hear people say, "Well, when you adjust for inflation, the gas prices back during the crisis in the Carter era were far worse".
NOT TRUE.
As this graph shows, when adjusted for inflation, the price of a gallon of gas back in the Carter era was $3.00 (actually, fractions of a penny below that). Right now, the average price is $2.96. And it is expected to rise.
Tin Soldiers And Nixon’s Coming
Nearly 25 years after the Kent State massacre, Neil Young still isn’t one to mince words, as he demonstrates in his unsubtly-titled new song: "Impeach The President":
Let’s impeach the president for lying
And leading our country into war
Abusing all the power that we gave him
And shipping all our money out the door
He’s the man who hired all the criminals
The White House shadows who hide behind closed doors
And bend the facts to fit with their new stories
Of why we have to send our men to war
Let’s impeach the president for spying
On citizens inside their own homes
Breaking every law in the country
By tapping our computers and telephones
What if Al Qaeda blew up the levees
Would New Orleans have been safer that way
Sheltered by our government’s protection
Or was someone just not home that day?
Let’s impeach the president
For hijacking our religion and using it to get elected
Dividing our country into colors
And still leaving black people neglected
Thank god he’s racking down on steroids
Since he sold his old baseball team
There’s lot of people looking at big trouble
But of course the president is clean
Thank God
I guess it’s okay. It would be better if he wasn’t the vocalist though.
Bush Is Pro-Life? Uh, Not So Much
Remember when Bush cut his vacation short (the only time he did it) to fly back to D.C. in the middle of the night so that he could sign a bill hastily drafted by Congress to save Terri Schiavo, the Florida woman in a persistent vegetative state?
It was a national debate which pitted the pro-life religious right with the pro-death-with-dignity everybody else.
Well — right now — there is a woman in a Texas hospital named Andrea Clark. Like Schiavo, she is being kept alive by machines. But whereas Schiavo’s legal guardian and husband wanted Schiavo to die with dignity, Clark’s family and legal guardian are opposed to pulling the plug.
But early next week, the Texas hospital will pull the plug anyway, based on the decision of one single physician, and against the family’s wishes.
How can the hospital get away with this?
It’s all due to something called the Taxas Futile Care Law, signed into law in 1999 by then-Texas-governor George Bush. Essentially, it allows an ethics committee of a hospital to terminate terminal care even against the wishes of the family and the patient. Read more.
More Kellie
Getting ready for work this morning, I had the local Fox affiliate on in the background. Joining the Fox crew in the studio was voted-off American Idol finalist and North Carolina native Bucky Covington.
And shortly before 8:00, live from Hollywood via satellite, they conducted an interview with Kellie Pickler, who had only had one hour of sleep last night (and it showed).
It was a reunion of sorts for Bucky and Kellie. For those interested, their conversation went a little something like this (a rough transcript based on my recall):
BUCKY: Hey, Kellie! How awhr ya?
KELLIE: Buuuuuuuckeeee! Heeeeey!
BUCKY: Well, ah jes wanner terl yer kewl ter hawdick mer y’all dergy-do.
KELLIE: Aaah, that’s sway-eeet! Yer knew, cerl dawl jes mah hergandaw free-ay-o-derrrl.
BUCKY: Der kawl y’all mer dogey?
KELLIE (laughing): Aaaah, that’s sway-eeet! Dogey drawl yer mawl seeeeger trawler oger.
And so on.
Honest to God — I had no idea what they were saying. I felt like I was watching Jodie Foster in "Nell".
American Idol Update: Albemarle Calling
Yup. I’m a fan — I think she’s — well — you know. Just sweet and humble and ditzy and real.
But in the talent department, she just didn’t have the stuff anymore.
For kicks and grins, I went to the Kellie Pickler fan site (the biggest one I believe — there are many) to see the initial reactions.
First of all, I noticed that Kellie fans over these past few weeks have been encouraged to wear a Hot Pink Ribbon in support of Kellie. Excuse me, but that’s kind of in bad taste.
Let’s see. There are ribbons to promote AIDs awareness, breast cancer awareness, and teen suicide awareness, among other causes. Oh, yeah. And for Kellie Pickler. (All together now — "one of these things is not like the other").
Thank God for the elders in the Town of Albemarle NC, Kellie’s hometown. In the Albemarle website, we are again encouraged to wear the "Hot Pink" Ribbon in support of their native daughter. But we’re given the following admonition:
The color is " Hot Pink " and shouldn’t be confused with the " Baby Pink " used for Breast Cancer Awareness.
Yeah. Heaven forbid people think you’re supporting breast cancer awareness when you meant to be showing your support for a TV talent show contestant. I mean, that would be embarrassing!
But I digress.
Anyway, the initial reactions from Kellie fans:
KellieROX15 writes:
Kellie off??? I can’t believe it. I am bawling as Im typing this and Kellie is someone I look up to and I lover her to death. Im going to need some support because my friends hate Kellie and where cheering for her to go tonight. I will get yelled at at school tommorow by them. I seriuosly didnt expect Kellie to leave. It was a schocker and I think i took it harder thatn Kellie cause Im bawling.
Then, at the bottom of her post, she has a photo montage of Katharine McPhee. I’m not joking.
Ah, fickle youth.
Michael6k goes berserk:
Noooooooooo! I am almost speechless. What happened? Kellie is way better and has been far more consistent than Paris. This is terrible. Ahhh!
Jessy89, who describes herself as a "New Kellie Fan", responds to Michael6k:
I Know I cried my meyes out and im still crying
Apparently, she was crying so much she can’t see the keyboard.
Anyway — it was fitting, I thought, that the show ended with Kellie kind of rambling on. Cute and fitting. But Kellie fans don’t agree. Casper14, for example, writes:
…and kellie didn’t even get to sing!!! i say we all write fox and tell them that they should let her sing next week to make up for it!!! god i’m pissed!!!
Some are trying to put on a happy face. Amanda434 sez:
Kellie did not deserve to leave tonight! But at least now she’ll be home for when her dad comes home…..
From prison? Is he getting out soon?
But most are devestated, like Lauren:
Man guys this is awful! I don’t know if I will be able to go to school tomorrow!!!!!!
And then there’s sour grapes:
Yeah, I’m definitely done with idol. Besides.. the top 24 is a good deal. It’s just the name, and personally I’d be ashamed of the name idol if the show’s rigged.
and
UGGHHHH!!!!! IM SOOO MAD/SAD!! Im actually crying!!!! the second she said ‘thanks to my kellie fans[us]’ the tears came flowing!! They’re still going!!! OMG!!!! I HATE THAT SHOW!!! No way she coulda got the lowest votes! ITS SOO FIXED!!!!! UGGGHHHH!!! chris better not win!!!
Well, enough of that.
Anyway, the local TV news affiliate just teased with the story. Oh, boy — they’re taking us live to Albemarle for reactions.
But …Kellie done good. Nothing to be sorry about. We’ll be hearing from her soon, at least locally.
P.S. How classy of her to thank the backstage crew?
P.P.S. BTW, to show how I can be both ignorant and an asshole at the same time….
I was getting really annoyed with that Andrea Bocelli guy as he was singing. "Why doesn’t he open his friggin’ eyes?" I kept wondering. "He’s trying to be all emotive, and he just looks dorky. He looks like he’s blind or something!!"
Oh. Oops.
Net Neutrality Again
Look, I know it’s a boring issue, but it is important.
Fortunately, via Digby, there’s a good analogy which explains the issue quite well:
What the telecoms are trying to get away with is like this: suppose you ran a business, and your product was delivered by FedEx, with your customers paying FedEx for it. Now suppose FedEx came to you one day and said, "You are making a nice profit off our delivery service. Besides what your customers pay, I also want you to pay us for it, or else your deliveries are going to be a lot slower, if they make it there at all."
That’s what proposals floating around Congress will do. They would allow telecoms to charge fees to content providers, and not just content receivers. You, the content receiver, already pay Time Warner (or whoever) to access, say, Google. Now Time Warner (and the telecoms) want to charge Google to provide that content to you.
So what? Well, the "so what" is that the Internet is the great equalizer. I can access a small jewelry business just as easily as I can access a huge one, and they have equal access to me. But with the proposed legislation out there being discussed, Time Warner could strike a deal with the larger jeweler, allowing their content to be delivered faster to your computer, while the small jeweler suffers (or gets no access to customers at all). And before you know it, the Internet, once open and free (once you’re on it) is in the hands of a few telecom companies. In effect, the content gets placed in the hands of those who own the pipes.
Learn more and write your Congressperson and sign the petition.
One Billion Words In The English Language
The Associated Press headline proclaims "English Language Hits 1 Billion Words" and the first three paragraphs of the article read:
A massive language research database responsible for bringing words such as "podcast" and "celebutante" to the pages of the Oxford dictionaries has officially hit a total of 1 billion words, researchers said Wednesday.
Drawing on sources such as weblogs, chatrooms, newspapers, magazines and fiction, the Oxford English Corpus spots emerging trends in language usage to help guide lexicographers when composing the most recent editions of dictionaries.
The press publishes the Oxford English Dictionary, considered the most comprehensive dictionary of the language, which in its most recent August 2005 edition added words such as "supersize,""wiki" and "retail politics" to its pages.
Wow. That’s a lot of words, you’re thinking. (You’re also trying to figure out how many words you probably know).
But . . . not so fast, hombre. The next graf spoils the party:
Oxford University Press lexicographer Catherine Soanes said the database is not a collection of 1 billion different words, but of sentences and other examples of the usage and spelling.
And if you go to the actual Oxford English Corpus website, you learn this:
Because the corpus is a collection of texts, there are not one billion different words: the humble word ‘the’, the commonest in the written language, accounts for 50 million of all the words in the corpus!
And you see this screenshot of a small snippet of the database, showing twenty instances of the word "sublime":
And for all we know, there may be more than twenty appearances of the word "sublime" in the database.
So there aren’t one billion English words. It’s just that the database used to catalogue and monitor English usage has collected one billion words, a far different (and less interesting) story. And even then, most of the one billion words are repeated dozens, hundreds, thousands, or even millions of times.
Now go back to the top of this post and read the AP headline. Deceptive, isn’t it?
Dracula Sucks
Another Broadway musical about Dracula, the third vampire-based musical attempt in four years, is getting crucified by the critics.
This time it is "Lestat" — an Elton John-Bernie Taupin creation — based on the Anne Rice novels.
In a review headlined "Vampires, the musical kiss of death," The Washington Post’s Peter Marks said the fixation with singing vampires had to stop. "Give the bloodsucker a ballad, and it’s his show that joins the walking dead."
"The only thing distinguishing this musical from its late, unlamented predecessors is that the lead vampires play for the, er, other team," he said. "’Lestat’s’ contribution to art and equality is demonstrating that a gay vampire with a two-octave range can be just as dull as a straight one."
The New York Post’s verdict was "Bloody Awful" and Newark, New Jersey’s The Star-Ledger said it was "just deadly."
***
Describing "Lestat" as a "musical sleeping pill," The New York Times critic Ben Brantley said: "The closest ‘Lestat’ comes to so-bad-it’s-good camp is in a subplot that might be called ‘Claudia Has Two Daddies."’
"Claudia is the little orphan girl brought home as a peace offering to the sulking Louis by Lestat, who turns her into a vampire after finding her destitute on the streets of New Orleans," he wrote.
In a review headlined "Undead ‘Lestat’ sucked of life," Newsday’s Linda Winer said: "The undead can’t catch a break on Broadway these days….. The curse continues with ‘Lestat."’
Yikes. That’s harsh.
OTHER THEATRE NEWS: Rent turns ten years old on Saturday. The New York Times covers it.
Rove Indictment Imminent?
Could be. Larry O’Donnell wrote:
Karl Rove’s return to the grand jury today could mean the end of the Rove investigation or the beginning of the Rove prosecution. It depends on who asked Rove to return. If Fitzgerald asked Rove to return to the grand jury, that means Fitzgerald thinks he doesn’t have enough for an indictment.
If Rove asked to return to the grand jury, that means Rove’s lawyer, Bob Luskin, believes an indictment is imminent and is sending his client back to make a final desperate attempt to avoid indictment.
Well, as it turns out, Rove volunteered to testify and was not subpoenaed. Rove’s decision followed a recent conversation by his lawyers with Fitzgerald. All this, according to NBC News’ David Shuster.
Ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboy Ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboy
The Worst Song In The World
CNN readers responded in droves, and the results are in:
5. "Seasons in the Sun," Terry Jacks (No. 1 for three weeks, 1974): "A melody you couldn’t play for your dog combined with inane lyrics" (Chris K.); "An all-time piece of dreck" (Darrell); "Having to listen to it is a season in hell" (Bonnie D.).
4. "I’ve Never Been to Me," Charlene (No. 3, 1982): "I want to punch out my radio when it comes on the air" (Larry W.); "Even the mush department at Hallmark would puke" (Eric and Linda); "I’m thinking that in her case, ‘Me’ probably wasn’t such a fun place to go to" (Brenda K.).
3. "You Light Up My Life," Debby Boone (No. 1 for 10 weeks, 1977): "How can anything so insipidly slow light up anything?" (Bob B.); "[It] sounded like it was thrown together on a rainy afternoon by a lovestruck adolescent" (Jan R.); "The musical equivalent of being keel-hauled" (Michael R.).
2. "Muskrat Love," The Captain and Tennille (No. 4, 1976): "A song about aquatic rodents doin’ the wild thing? Eeeeeew!" (Garland E.); "The name says it all" (Stacy D.); "I would pay good money to have its lyrics, tune, and even the fact of its existence erased from my memory" (Dave C.).
And the No. 1 worst song as voted on by CNN.com users:
1. "(You’re) Having My Baby," Paul Anka (No. 1 for three weeks, 1974): It wasn’t even close; Anka’s hit beat out "Muskrat" by more than 50 votes, a veritable landslide under the circumstances. As our correspondents raved: "How can a person not be annoyed by lyrics like, ‘You’re a woman in love and I love what it’s doin’ to ya’?" (Shauna M.); " ‘What a lovely way of sayin’ how much you love me’ — If that isn’t the most egocentric solipsistic revolting line of all time" (Stu S. and Andi S.); "I don’t know a woman alive who doesn’t cringe when it comes on the radio. I’m sure it’s banned in most countries around the world" (Gord P.).
Good — er, I mean bad — choices.
What about some others?
Other songs with sizable constituencies — at least 1 percent of the vote — included Bo Donaldson & the Heywoods’ "Billy, Don’t Be a Hero," Paper Lace’s "The Night Chicago Died," Starship’s "We Built This City," Richard Harris’ "MacArthur Park," Morris Albert’s "Feelings," the Starland Vocal Band’s "Afternoon Delight," the Archies’ "Sugar, Sugar," Billy Ray Cyrus’ "Achy Breaky Heart," Maria Muldaur’s "Midnight at the Oasis," America’s "A Horse with No Name," the Ohio Express’ "Yummy Yummy Yummy," Los Del Rio’s "The Macarena" and Don McLean’s "American Pie."
(If neither "Honey" nor "We Built This City," two songs that inspired this story, hit the top five, perhaps it was because readers were already satiated with them.)
Hey, I like "Midnight at the Oasis".