The Creation Museum

Ken AshfordEducation, GodstuffLeave a Comment

A review:

Imagine, if you will, a load of horseshit. And we’re not talking just your average load of horseshit; no, we’re talking colossal load of horsehit. An epic load of horseshit. The kind of load of horseshit that has accreted over decades and has developed its own sort of ecosystem, from the flyblown chunks at the perimeter, down into the heated and decomposing center, generating explosive levels of methane as bacteria feast merrily on vintage, liquified crap. This is a Herculean load of horseshit, friends, the likes of which has not been seen since the days of Augeas.

And you look at it and you say, “Wow, what a load of horseshit.”

But then there’s this guy. And this guy loves this load of horseshit. Why? Well, really, who knows? What possesses someone to love a load of horseshit? It’s beyond your understanding and possibly you don’t actually want to know, even if you could know; maybe it’s one of those “on that path lies madness” things. But love it he does, and he’s not the only one; the admiration for this particular load of horseshit exists, unaccountably, far and wide. There are advocates for this load of horseshit.

And so this guy who loves this load of horseshit decides that he’s going to do something; he’s going to give it a home. And not just any home, because as this is no ordinary load of horseshit, so must its home be no ordinary repository for horseshit. And so the fellow builds a temple for his load of horseshit. The finest architects scope this temple’s dimensions; the most excellent builders hoist columns around the load of horseshit and cap them with a cunning and elegant dome; and every surface of the temple is clad in fine-grained Italian marble by the most competent masons in a three-state radius. The load of horseshit is surrounded by comfortable seats, the better for people to gaze upon it; docents are hired to expertly describe its history and features; multimedia events are designed to explain its superior nature, relative not only to other loads of horseshit which may compete in loadosity or horseshittery, but to other, completely unrelated things which may or may not be loads of anything, much less loads of horseshit.

The guy who built the temple, satisfied that it truly represents his beloved load of horseshit in the best possible light, then opens the temple to the public, to attract not only the already-established horseshit enthusiasts, but possibly to entice new people to come and gaze on the horseshit, and to, well, who knows, admire its moundyness, or the way it piles just so, to nod in appreciation of the rationalizations for its excellence or to clap in delight and take pictures when an escaping swell of methane causes the load of horseshit to sigh a moist and pungent sigh.

When all of this is done, the fellow turns to you and asks you what you think of it all now, now that this gorgeous edifice has been raised in glory and the masses cluster in celebration.

And you say, “Well, that’s all very nice. But it’s still just an enormous load of horseshit.”

And this is, in sum, the Creation Museum.

Believe it or not, the reviewer is only just getting started….

A Tribute To Buffalax

Ken AshfordYoutubeLeave a Comment

If you’re looking for a good laugh, almost anything posted by "Buffalax" on Youtube makes me giggle.

What he (she?) does: he takes songs from Bollywood movies and adds subtitles.  Not subtitles of actual translations, but subtitles of what it appears they are singing. 

Enjoy:

Memo To The City Of Long Beach, California

Ken AshfordIraqLeave a Comment

Vets_buttonToday is Veteran’s Day.  Which is to say, today is the day we specifically set aside to honor the veterans.  Regardless of how one feels about the Iraq War, or the Vietnam War, or even war in general, we set aside today to honor those men and women who put their lives on the line in service to their country.

In theory and principle — and occasionally in practice — those uniformed men and women do what they do to protect our freedoms.  They separate themselves from family and friends to serve their country.  Many of them come back without limbs, or without the same sense of sanity that they left.  Many of them don’t come back at all.

As such, we don’t provide a litmus test to veterans.  We don’t say, "We’ll honor you on Veteran’s Day, but only if you vote for Political Candidate X".  We don’t say, "We’ll honor you for your service to our country, but only if you fought in X, Y or Z conflicts."  And we certainly don’t say, "We honor you only if you forego your First Amendment rights, part of the parcel of rights you fought to protect."

So when I read that anti-Iraq War veterans were banned from your Veteran’s Day parade, I was stunned.  Let me say this quite simply: Veteran’s Day parades are to honor the veterans — all veterans.  If you were holding a Pro-Iraq War Parade, that is one thing — but this isn’t that.  And for you to think that Veteran’s Day is synonymous with being pro-Iraq, you are grossly mistaken.

UPDATE:  That goes for you, too, Denver.

CORRECTION:  The anti-Iraq vets were allowed to march in the Denver parade after all (albeit at the very end of it).  It seems that those who served understand:

Air Force veteran Jim Hill said the groups should be allowed to march in the parade.

"They put in their time, they lost their buddies too, their friends," he said.

Yup.

Credit Debt

Ken AshfordEconomy & Jobs & DeficitLeave a Comment

I’ve been hearing and reading a lot lately about consumer debt and overbearing debt collection practices.   It’s a serious problem.  And bankruptcy laws, which were once there to protect the consumer in trouble (with its concept of "debt forgiveness") have been slowly altered over the years to make it much more difficult for consumers to get themselves back on their feet.  So, I’m sympathetic to the general problem.

But I must say, that a lion’s share of the problem is attributable to consumers themselves.  I mean, it’s one thing to, say, have a catastrophe happen and deplete your life savings on medical bills.  However, it’s entirely different when your shopping habits exceed your wallet size.  It’s incredible to me how some people simply have not learned this.

….which is all by way of leading to this great SNL skit on the issue about a revolutionary way to avoid excessive debt:

Bremer Freed

Ken AshfordHistoryLeave a Comment

WallaceshotArthur Bremer, the guy who attempted to assassin — but only paralyzed — then-racist (now dead) presidential candidate George Wallace back in 1972, had been released from prison:

Under the conditions of his release, Bremer must stay away from any local, state, federal or foreign elected officials and any current candidates.

…but he he is otherwise free to stalk and kill anyone else he wants.

It’s a sure sign that you’re old when you can remember the crime and be around when the criminal gets released.

JC Penney Catalogue From 1977

Ken AshfordWeb RecommendationsLeave a Comment

You really should read the whole post:

Here’s how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere:

I’ll bet these guys do ok with the ladies. If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy’s pocket. In this case, he doesn’t, although you can tell just by looking at them that it’s happened – or if it hasn’t happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his color-coordinated coffee cup.

King Tut: Butt Ugly

Ken AshfordHistoryLeave a Comment

Although King Tut’s tomb was discovered 85 years ago, they didn’t get around to unraveling the mummy and seeing the Boy King until a few days ago.

Kingtutmummy540x380

Dude had a serious overbite.

Here’s the link to the King Tut Exhibition’s webpage.

Pat Robertson Endorses Rudy Guiliani

Ken AshfordElection 2008Leave a Comment

Rudy is running on 9/11.  And he recently received an endorsement from Pat Robertson.

Recall that on 9/13/01, Pat and his buddy Jerry were saying that America "deserved" to be attacked.  Watch it:

James Dobson’s Family Research Council, a religious conservative group with whom I never agree, actually asks a good question:

In an interview with Election Central, a top official at the Family Research Council, one of the most prominent religious-conservative groups in the country, suggested that Rudy’s acceptance of Robertson’s endorsement should make one wonder whether Rudy agrees with Robertson’s interpretation of the event that killed nearly 3,000 of Rudy’s constitutents and now forms the basis of his campaign.

"9/11 is what Rudy’s campaign is fundamentally based on," Charmaine Yoest, a vice president at Family Research Council Action, told us. "This does beg the question — does Rudy agree with Robertson’s comments about 9/11?"

Well, Rudy?  The ball’s in your court….

Children’s Toys Laced With “Date Rape” Drug

Ken AshfordHealth Care1 Comment

Well, that can’t be a good thing:

U.S. safety officials have recalled about 4.2 million Chinese-made Aqua Dots bead toys that contain a chemical that has caused some children to vomit and become comatose after swallowing them.

Scientists have found the popular toy’s coating contains a chemical that, once metabolized, converts into the toxic "date rape" drug GHB, or gamma-hydroxy butyrate, U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission spokesman Scott Wolfson told CNN.

"GHB is this drug that in low doses actually causes euphoria," said Dr. Sanjay Gupta, CNN’s chief medical correspondent. "In higher doses, it can cause people to go into a coma. It can cause seizures. It can cause something known as hypotonia, where all your muscles just become very flaccid.

"And it can cause people to become amnestic, meaning they forget everything that’s about to happen to them, which is why it became a date-rape drug," Gupta said.

"So this is nasty stuff, and it appears that the chemical is actually converting into it in the body."

At some point, someone has to ask how these chemicals get into toys in the first place.  I mean, lead, I understand.  It’s a component of paint.  But GHB?

Don’t Pay Attention To Politics? Don’t Know Who You Favor?

Ken AshfordElection 2008Leave a Comment

The Smartselect website will ask you a series of questions relating to your views on various issues, as well as how strongly you feel about that issue (for example, you may be opposed to gun control, but you don’t care about that issue as strongly as you do, say, the Iraq War issue).

It then matches your positions with those of the candidates, both Republican and Democrat (even including the satire candidate, Steven Colbert). 

Not surprisingly, I’m an Obama man, although I’m somewhat surprised that John Edwards scored comparatively low for me.

 1. Theoretical Ideal Candidate   (100%)
2. Barack Obama   (89%)Information link 
3. Joseph Biden   (85%)Information link 
4. Alan Augustson (campaign suspended)   (84%)Information link 
5. Hillary Clinton   (83%)Information link 
6. Wesley Clark (not running, endorsed Clinton)   (83%)Information link 
7. Dennis Kucinich   (82%)Information link 
8. Al Gore (not announced)   (81%)Information link 
9. Christopher Dodd   (78%)Information link 
10. Bill Richardson   (76%)Information link 
11. John Edwards   (76%)Information link 
12. Michael Bloomberg (says he will not run)   (74%)Information link 
13. Mike Gravel   (62%)Information link 
14. Ron Paul   (52%)Information link 
15. Kent McManigal (campaign suspended)   (48%)Information link 
16. Elaine Brown   (44%)Information link 
17. Mike Huckabee   (37%)Information link 
18. John McCain   (36%)Information link 
19. Tommy Thompson (withdrawn, endorsed Giuliani)   (32%)Information link 
20. Rudolph Giuliani   (31%)Information link 
21. Newt Gingrich (says he will not run)   (26%)Information link 
22. Chuck Hagel (not running)   (25%)Information link 
23. Mitt Romney   (24%)Information link 
24. Alan Keyes   (24%)Information link 
25. Sam Brownback (withdrawn, endorsed McCain)   (21%)Information link 
26. Fred Thompson   (20%)Information link 
27. Tom Tancredo   (15%)Information link 
28. Jim Gilmore (withdrawn)   (9%)Information link 
29. Stephen Colbert (campaign ended)   (8%)Information link 
30. Duncan Hunter   (8%)Information link 

Have at it….