Eat Pray Love And Send Me A 2.5 Hour-Long Postcard

Ken AshfordPopular Culture, Women's Issues1 Comment

I guess there's some chick flick coming out today.  And while men will be going to see something else, women will be watching some self-indulgent woman take a year-long journey of self-discovery and navel-contemplating, which, I'm guessing, is probably much more fun to actually do than it is to watch someone else do it for two-and-a-half-hours.

Now, in all honesty, it's not fair to lump up one genre of film like that, as if all "chick flicks" appeal to all women.  Each chick flick appeals to a certain kind of woman.  And thankfully, via Flavorwire, we can now match up the "chick flick" with the type of "chick" who likes it:

Sex and the City
Midwestern career girls saving up to buy Manolos

Sex and the City 2
Culturally insensitive Midwestern career girls saving up to buy fake Manolos

Confessions of a Shopaholic
Women who thought there were too few pretty dresses in SATC

A League of Their Own
Third-wave feminists

Love Actually
Women who get overly excited about poppy movie soundtracks

The Joy Luck Club
White women who believe that all Asian women are quiet, strong, and wise

Dudes who didn’t realize Titanic was going to be a chick flick but aren’t going to front — they kinda teared up a little at the end

Hip, quirky, retro circle skirt-wearing ladies who will call you sexist if you even try to insinuate that Waitress was a chick flick

Sense and Sensibility
People who prefer the term “period drama” to “chick flick”

Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion
Women who have regrets about/don’t remember their teen years

Thelma and Louise
Women you might want to start worrying about

Gay men who have dressed up as Bette Midler… or at least fantasized about it

The Bridges of Madison County
Women who think Clint Eastwood is “still really hot”

The First Wives Club
Cougars who would not be comfortable calling themselves cougars

How Stella Got Her Groove Back
Cougars who totally “own” the title

Steel Magnolias
Rootless urban women who romanticize sturdy, earthy Southern gals and the loyalty they feel toward one another

Waiting to Exhale
Women who identified with Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, God rest her soul

The Devil Wears Prada
Women who feel for Andy now but will be Miranda in 20 years

The Twilight Saga
Every tween girl in the world and the mother who secretly raids her DVD collection

Pretty Woman
Women with a foggy understanding of sex work

Maid in Manhattan
Women who aren’t bothered by retrograde class stereotypes and expectations

When Harry Met Sally
Women who make a lot of noise in restaurants and the Billy Crystal-fan men who love them

Valley of the Dolls
Women with a healthy appreciation for camp and their gay best friends

My Best Friend’s Wedding
Women who secretly wish Julia Roberts could just marry the gay best friend, sexual orientation be damned

My Big Fat Greek Wedding
People who like to remind you that it is an “indie film”

Gone with the Wind
Women whose impossibly high romantic standards are, frankly, destroying their lives

Valentine’s Day
Women who appreciate seasonally appropriate marketing

Bride Wars
Masochistic always-the-bridesmaid types

Sleepless in Seattle
Women who secretly hope to be proposed to live on The Today Show

Must Love Dogs
Women whose pets will be part of their wedding party

Boys on the Side
Hey, lesbians need chick flicks, too

Bridget Jones’ Diary
Women who keep witty journals they secretly hope someone will read

Postcards from the Edge
Former wild children who have moved to the suburbs

Dirty Dancing
Girls who spend time pondering whether there’s a male term for “shiksa”

Women who say, “I’m gonna be naughty” before reaching for a truffle

He’s Just Not That Into You
That friend who’s always trying to give you relationship advice, despite the fact that you’re engaged and she called you crying last weekend about her fourth break-up of the year