Instead of trick-or-treating, how about piling those kids in the pick-up truck and taking a trip down the road to Canton, NC (near Asheville)?
Here's what you can expect (image from their website):
From Raw Story:
The website for the Amazing Grace Baptist Church in Canton, N.C., says there are "scriptural bases" for the book burning. The site quotes Acts 19:18-20: "And many that believed, came and confessed and shewed their deeds. Many of them also which used curious arts, brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed."
Church leaders deem Good News for Modern Man, the Evidence Bible, the New International Version Bible, the Green Bible and the Message Bible, as well as at least seven other versions of the Bible as "Satan's Bibles," according to the website. Attendees will also set fire to "Satan's popular books" such as the work of "heretics" including the Pope, Mother Teresa, Billy Graham and Rick Warren.
"I believe the King James version is God's preserved, inspired, inerrant and infallible word of God," Pastor Marc Grizzard told a local news station of his 14-member parish.
David Lynch, a resident of nearby Asheville, N.C., told Raw Story "it's a little disconcerting how close this is to my home."
"They are burning so much stuff I've dubbed them the hypocritical Christian Taliban," Lynch said in a phone interview with Raw Story. "Just the scope of all the information they want to destroy is pretty disturbing."
Church leaders did not respond to Raw Story's requests for comment, but the website notes they will be providing "bar-b-que chicken, fried chicken and all the sides" at the book burning.
Well, given the amount of fire there, I expect the chicken will be burnt to a crisp.
My reaction? Wonkette says it all:
…and don’t even attempt to answer this: How does a human being become this insane? Imagine how hard you would have to work, mentally, for your whole life, training yourself to be as insane as fucking possible about everything, every object you see, every interaction you have, to the point where you would plan or attend this church’s Halloween book burning non-ironically, agreeing with each aspect of this itinerary on earnest grounds, actually believing that this event would result in some sort of pure, positive good, and then telling people in public, on the publicly available Internet, about this event. Try to imagine for yourself a hypothetical psychological path that would lead you to this sort of existence. “Clinical psychosis” won’t even get you halfway.
Seriously, I have a problem with book-burning in general, but I suppose if one must burn books, James Dobson's work won't upset me too much. And I can certainly think of some country music records that deserve to burn. But to burn James Dobson, Billy Graham, Rick Warren and Chuck Colson because they are insufficiently religio-conservative? That takes a special kind of batshit insane.
UPDATE: From the church website's joke page:
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MAY NOT BE READING YOUR BIBLE ENOUGH:
10) The Preacher announces the sermon is from Galatians … and you check the table of contents.
9) You think Abraham, Isaac & Jacob may have had a few hit songs during the 60's.
8) You open to the Gospel of Luke and a WWII Savings Bond falls out.
7) Your favorite Old Testament Patriarch is Hercules.
6) A small family of woodchucks has taken up residence in the Psalms of your Bible.
5) You become frustrated because Charlton Heston isn't listed in either the Concordance or the Table of Contents.
4) Catching the kids reading the Song of Solomon, you demand: "Who gave you this stuff?"
3) You think the Minor Prophets worked in the quarries.
2) You keep falling for it every time when Pastor tells you to turn to First Condominiums.
And the number one sign you may not be reading your Bible enough:
1) The kids keep asking too many questions about your usual bedtime story: "Jonah the Shepherd Boy and His Ark of Many Colors."
Ok, now the whole burning thing is starting to sound appealing.