The Worst Sports Column Ever Written…

Ken AshfordRight Wing and Inept MediaLeave a Comment

… was written on Monday.  It appeared in Tuesday's Orange County RegisterHere's how it begins:

It doesn't sound as if Jaycee Dugard got to see a sports page.

Box scores were not available to her from June 10, 1991 until Aug. 31 of this year.

She never saw a highlight. Never got to the ballpark for Beach Towel Night. Probably hasn't high-fived in a while.

She was not allowed to spike a volleyball. Or pitch a softball. Or smack a forehand down the line. Or run in a 5-footer for double bogey.

Now, that's deprivation.

Can you imagine? Dugard was 11 when she was kidnapped and stashed in Phillip Garrido's backyard. She was 29 when she escaped. Penitentiary inmates at least get an hour of TV a day. Dugard was cut off from everything but the elements.

How long before she fully digests the world she re-enters? How difficult to adjust to such cataclysmic change?

More than that, who's going to explain the fact that there's a President Obama?

Dugard's stepfather says she's going to need a lot of therapy — you think? — so perhaps she should take a respite before confronting the new realities.

So, Jaycee, whenever you're ready, here's what you've missed:

And then it goes on to explain all the great moments in sports that Jaycee missed.

That's right…  a young woman was kidnapped at age 11, sexually abused, mentally tormented, and held captive for 18 years, and that's used as a launghing point to talk about great sports achivements?

"Ill-conceived" doesn't begin to describe this column.

The author, Mark Whicker, has since issued an apology.