Did You Know That Glenn Beck Raped And Murdered A Young Girl In 1990?

Ken AshfordRight Wing and Inept Media15 Comments

There's evidence out there that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990, and most tellingly, Beck hasn't denied that he raped and murdered a young girl in 1990 — so therefore it must be true that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990, which is something that he clearly did do.

You can find it all at http://glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com/.  It's a website, so you know what is said on there is true.  And most importantly, Glenn Beck has yet to come forward and deny that the website is lying when it says that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990. 

Below, from that website, I've posted one of the most compelling and uncontrovertible pieces of evidence which proves beyond a shadow of all reason that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990.

The “Why”: Why haven’t we had an official response to the rumor that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990?

Beck’s Background: He has exposed himself as a guy over and over again who has a deep seeded hatred for consensual sex.  I’m not saying he doesn’t like consensual sex, I’m saying he has a problem.

Search for Proof: It is rumored that Beck consumed the remains of the girl in a post-coitus ritualistic ceremony.  Hence, no body.  There’s no proof that he raped & murdered that girl. It’s just as likely that he murdered & THEN raped her.  There’s no proof that it was a girl, after he was done with it the genitalia were so mutilated that a definitive gender couldn’t be determined.

Pleading with Beck: Come clean, Glenn, just come clean. It’s the right time now. It is the decent thing for you to do, out of respect for the American people, and if you don’t respect them, out of respect for yourself. For the sake of the girl’s family, or girls’ families, *sniff* think of the families, Glenn, *sobs*, they need just that little bit of closure your confession can give them, just, please, Glenn, think of those poor families *cries* and what you have *cries a bit more* have put them through…

Let’s Blame in on the Mainstream Media (MSM): Why is the MSM not reporting that Glenn Beck might have raped and murdered a girl in 1990? They are covering for his rape and murder of that girl.

Let me interject here to point out that Fox News especially has failed to do a single story about Glenn Beck raping and murdering a young girl in 1990.  Not ONE!

Let the Records State: No link has been provided to Glenn Beck’s murder record to prove that he was not involved with a rape and murder of a girl in 1990.  A Lexis-Nexis search will reveal not one record of the statement “Glenn Beck did not rape and murder a girl today” in all of the records for 1990.  Even more damning, a Google search will not disprove the rape and murder.

Turn to the Snopes Sleuths: Someone needs to put together an email about Glenn Beck raping and murder that girl back in 1990 so we can all start pestering Snopes to varify if it is true or not.

Vast Coverup Conspiracy: I have no knowledge of any plausible alibi Glenn Beck has that would prove he didn’t rape and murder that girl in 1990.  Some say Glenn Beck has spent possibly THREE BILLION DOLLARS to cover up the fact that he raped and murdered a girl in 1990. Why won’t Glenn Beck release her death certificate? WHERE GLENN WHERE?! Wouldn’t it be the prudent thing for him to simply release his legal records proving that he didn’t rape and murder a girl in 1990. It is very interesting that he has not taken this simple step. Instead he hides it behind an army of lawyers. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO HIDE, GLENN?

NEED MORE PROOF?  “R” is for radical “A” is for astronaut, “P” is for paper, “S” is for super-douche, “T” well, I don’t have that yet, but if I did, this would spell “rapist”.  Oh, the “I”?  That’s for oligarch or oligahr or orgalorg or…

I mean, poll results overwhelming show that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990.  What more evidence do you need?

Also, you'll note that Glenn Beck is trying to draw attention away from himself a LOT lately.  He's been claiming that everyone from John Rockefeller to everyone in the Obama Administration is a puppet of ACORN/Hitler/Karl Marx.  Why is Beck trying to draw the spotlight off of himself and onto others?  What is he hiding?  That's just the kind of behavior — textbook behavior, in fact — that you would expect from a man who raped and murdered a young girl in 1990, which is something Beck has refused to deny ever doing.

Even on Yahoo Answers, the issue has been addressed:


(And yes, this is all satire.  The point of this post and the website above is to show how faux journalism, the kind purveyed by Glenn Beck himself, is not only alive and well, but misleading and dangerous.  As for whether Glenn Beck really did rape and murder a young girl in 1990, I don't know.  But people are sure asking legitimate questions, huh? So what does that tell you?)

UPDATE:  A graph shows that all this is probably true:


Other photos are surfacing: