An Open Letter To The President

Ken AshfordSupreme CourtLeave a Comment

Dear President Obama,

I understand that there may be a position opening on the Supreme Court.

Just to let you know, I'm a lawyer.  I know that's not a prerequisite, but I think it helps.

And I'm a liberal, but dogmatically so.

I can sit on a bench all day if that is what the job requires, although I hope it is not a real bench, because I have this lumbar support thing I would prefer to use. 

Furthermore, I look good in black, especially a black robe, which is very thinning I'm told.  I have my own gavel (somewhere — maybe in a storage bin in the basement?), so you won't have to buy me one.

As for Senate confirmation, I don't have any skeletons in my closet.  Just a lot of T-shirts with funny sayings on them.  I'm relatively young for a Supreme Court justice, but not young enough to be inexperienced, and I think I can "run rings" around some of those folks on the Senate panel.

And I really do write better than this blog would suggest.  I understand that my legal opinions won't be in HTML or have graphics floating to the right or left.

Also, Souter was from New Hampshire; I'm from New Hampshire.  So, you know, if there's a geopolitical angle to your nominee choice, I hope you will take that into account.

References and resume available on request.  Headshot, too, if you think that is important.

Thank you in advance for your consideration.

Yours, etc.