Top Ten Reasons Why I Don’t Follow NCAA Basketball

Ken AshfordPopular CultureLeave a Comment

College-basketball (10)  It's just a bunch of pituitary cases throwing a rubber ball around.

(9)  The last 4 minutes of any game is all that matters.  The rest is all hype and foreplay.

(8)  It's a game that's more fun to play than to watch.

(7)  The single-minded obsessiveness of its fans, what with office pools, etc.  I mean, you would think it was something important, like, say, the Oscars.

(6)  The deification of coaches — who, incidentally, look like they all buy their clothes from Sears.

(5)  The cinderella team coming from nowhere, beating the big favorites in early rounds, like in Hoosiers?  They don't make it to the finals.  Ever.  They get their asses kicked in the quarterfinals.

(4)  I can't prove this (yet), but the refs just make it up as they go along.  I mean, seriously.  Offensive foul, or illegal block by a defending player?  The refs don't know!  It happened so fast!  They're just guessing.

(3)  The language.  "Brackets" are what you use to attach bookshelves to walls.  "Seeds" are what you put in your garden to make vegetables grow.  'Nuff said.

(2)  For every moron who gets a scholarship to play basketball at an esteemed university, someone else is denied scholarship money, or even denied acceptance to that school.

and the #1 reason why I don't follow the NCAA……

(1)  The whole concept dumbs down America.  I mean, you would think that one of these "college" players would stop mid-game — mid-dribble – and say, "Wait a second.  UCLA is playing in the Eastern Conference, and Connecticut College is playing in the Western Conference?  That's whack."


Okay.  I know I've ruffled feathers.  Have at me….