What Does Your Alma Mater Smell Like?

Ken AshfordPopular CultureLeave a Comment

They name perfumes and cologne after celebrities.  Why not name them after universities?

That's the thinking behind Masik Collegiate Fragrances, a company which formulates different "signature scents" for universities.

So far, they've only come out with fragrances for UNC and Penn State.

UNC cologne, for example:

Unc-prod-cologne_1 UNC for men is a light and crisp fragrance that embodies alluring Carolina Blue in a bottle. The fragrance opens with fresh Sicilian lemon and bergamot. The aromatics extend with lavender and the subtle spice of sensual white pepper. The base notes combine a soft white amber and tonka bean. An irresistible and fresh creation for the proud Carolina man.

Fragrance Notes:
Top: Neroli, Sicilian Lemon, Cardamom, Crisp Bergamot
Middle: Iced Juniper, Lavender, Sunny Geranium, Jasmine, White Pepper
Base: Sheer White Amber, Tonka Bean, Haitian Vetiver, Cashmere Woods

I'm gonna get me a jug.

AFTERTHOUGHT:  Is there any job more cheesy than writing blurbs for fragrances?  I mean, do they mean anything?  The blurb for Penn State cologne says "The fragrance exudes Penn State blue and signifies masculinity, passion and honor."  Which is much like the blurb above, wherein the fragrance "embodies Carolina Blue".

Can someone tell me how a smell can "exude" university colors, or "signify" honor?  A smell?

The ad copy is just mindless drivel.  I'm sure if I walked by a Penn Stater wearing this cologne, I'm not going to go: "Sniff, sniff.  Hey, I smell honor.  And blue.  I smell blue.  But not just any blue; it's Penn State blue I smell."

Still, somewhere out there, there is a person whose job it is to write this stuff.  They probably have a list a verbs ("embodies", "captures", "conveys" "exudes", "signifies") and a list of traits ("masculinity", "passion", "earthiness", "command", "power") and then it's just a process much like the clever technique employed by Mad Libs, i.e., "The fragrance conveys the spirit of passion, earthiness and power of the East Idaho Community Technical College Red Devils."