Best Wingnut Theory Of The Election Cycle

Ken AshfordElection 2008Leave a Comment

2nia0xy Obama is winning because… you ready?… he's hypnotizing us.


And here is a 67 page, 192 footnote pdf file entitled “An Examination of Obama’s Use of Hidden Hypnosis Techniques in His Speeches.” which proves it.

It's a remarkable piece of work, in its breadth, as the author analyzes Obama words (the pacing and inflection) and gestures from various speeches, all of which have — literally — hypnotized the electorate.

A screenshot from the PDF offers a typical example (click to enlarge):



Let's hope that Obama will be using his magic powers for the cause of good, and not evil.

UPDATE:  Here's a runner-up theory for why McCain is losing.  For those too lazy to follow the link, I'll summarize. 

You see, Obama has a cousin in Kenya named Odinka.  Odinka and his "tribe" of satanists, witches and warlocks "get up daily at 3 a.m. to release curses against McCain and Palin".  These occultists are:

 "weaving lazy 8's around McCain's mind to make him look confused and like an idiot"

Uuuuuhhhmmm, yyyyeah.  Seems to be working, too.

And just to stack the deck, Obama's Kenyan grandmother sacrificed a white and black chicken so that blacks and whites would vote for Obama.

Don't doubt this!  After all, could a website with the word "jesus" in the url be lying???

UPDATE:  Oh, how could I forget?  The wingnut theory that Obama is really the secret love child of Malcolm X.  (Malcolm X was a scary black man, don't ya know… are you picking up on this theme?)