Being Stalked By Ex-Candidates

Ken AshfordElection 2008Leave a Comment

Andy Brorowitz explains the problem:

My biggest mistake was, in 2004, I supported John Kerry – which was not a mistake, I’m proud of supporting John Kerry, but the mistake I made was that I gave John Kerry my email address. As a result, like many John Kerry supporters, I still receive emails periodically from And I sort of feel like John Kerry is like a bad ex.

I just feel like I want to reach out to him and say; "You know, I really feel like we need to start seeing other people." Because I just feel like he’s stalking me. And if that weren’t bad enough — if I just had to field these emails from John Kerry, but I also suspect that he gave my email address to Dennis Kucinich because I’m now also getting emails from, and I’m pretty sure that I never supported Dennis Kucinich in any way…. with God as my witness, I have never given Dennis Kucinich my email address. I might have given it to his wife, but I really don’t think I gave Dennis my email address.

So the only thing I can kick myself over is this whole email relationship with John Kerry, which I just want to bring to an end.

You know, if it was on Facebook, I could just "de-friend" him….

I just feel like there ought to be some way to tell John Kerry to stop emailing me without hurting his feelings. Like if I could say "It’s me, not you." You know there’s nothing wrong with him, it’s just that I’ve moved on, and I’m looking for something different now and I’m sort of having an existential crisis. I still have feelings for him, it’s just they’re not the feelings I used to have. I have more of those feelings for Barack Obama.

…(And) that’s the weird thing, because (Kerry’s) apparently moved on to Barack Obama too because he’s endorsed him. But then I’m thinking, is he just stalking me? Because he knows I’m with Barack, so now he’s with Barack? I don’t know. It’s weird. It’s just weird.