The U.S. Government Blog

Ken AshfordBloggingLeave a Comment

That’s right.  The United States Government has a blog, because that’s what all the kids are into these days, and the U.S. Government is nothing if not "hip".  It’s been up for a month now.

It’s called "Gov Gab: Your U.S. Government Blog".  I’m not lying.  Look at the url.  It’s a dot-gov.  Not a dot-com.  Not a dot-net.  A dot-gov.

This is a good idea and long overdue, because now we can see what the United States government is up to, and become the informed citizenry necessary to the functioning of a vital democracy.  Take, for example, this post from a couple of days ago:

Little Tiny Grasslings

My husband struggled all summer to grow a new lawn to replace the awful clover and weeds that were growing in our 10’x 10’ front yard. He started in June, first with some regular grass seed. Faithful twice daily watering resulted in only partial success so he moved on to a more fool proof product, you know, the seed that’s covered with newspaper and fertilizer (the stuff that’s bright blue?). I guess it’s supposed to make the germination process a little easier since the newspaper keeps in the moisture and the fertilizer helps it grow. Faithful watering of this particular seed worked beautifully and —

Wait, WTF?!?

There’s so much I’ve already learned about my government, just from this (partial) blog post.  For example, I had no idea that the U.S. government:

  • was a woman
  • was married
  • had a very small front yard

Wow.  They didn’t teach that stuff in civics!

So who writes the U.S. government blog, the blog of the most industrialized and powerful nation of all known humankind?

Is it the President?  No, silly.  He’s a busy man.  Besides, he’s just one man.

No, sir.  Blogging for this great country requires six (count ’em, six!) bloggers.  You can read their bios here, but here’s a typical bio:

Sam is a twenty-something Southern belle who brought her pointed-toe shoes (now peep toe) and passion for all things accessories to the federal government 4 years ago. When she’s not relying on the kindness of bureaucrats or telling anyone who’ll listen about all of Uncle Sam’s great resources, you can find Sam shopping for the latest bargains, planning her next exotic vacay, or cheering on her beloved Georgia Bulldawgs. Other passions: flea markets, banana pudding, and celebrity gossip.

Ooookay then.

But for me, I need to have a face to go with the blog.

And so here it is, ladies and gentleman, the face of the United States government:


His name is Jake.  He likes Dave Barry, and — I’m not making this up — spends time "negotiating meal times with his cat".

Pledge allegience to him.