Upon arrest, Allen’s excuse was that the park was full of black men, and the guy in the bathroom stall next to him (the undercover cop) was a black man, so naturally, Allen was frightened of "becoming a statistic". So naturally, Allen did what any of us would do when we’re in the company of scary black men — we offer them money so we can fellate them. Makes sense, right?
But why was Allen hanging out for so long in the park’s restroom to begin with?
Well, Allen has a perfectly reasonable explanation for that, too, which was revealed yesterday in court documents. Turns out he was afraid of getting hit by lightning.
One wonders why Allen didn’t simply offer $20 to perform oral sex on the lightning, but that’s his affair.
He’s still planning on running for a state Senate seat in 2010, by the way.