From A Paris Hilton Fan

Ken AshfordPopular CultureLeave a Comment

This epistle by someone named "Larry" was posted at a Paris Hilton fansite.  It is basically one long run-on sentence — which I’ve broken up — but otherwise, I haven’t changed a letter.

It seems to me that her attorneys should obtain a federal injucntion against the judge punishing Paris for the enforcement of a federal ruling.

Yes, this makes perfect sense.  A judge tries to enforce a federal rule — we simply cannot have this!  So let’s get a federal injunction to stop a judge from enforcing the law.

His action of more than doubling her time to be spent in jail for the implimentation of the federal ruling on overcrowding is a violation of her civil rights.

Wow.  Try to diagram that sentence.  I think "Larry" is saying that Paris Hilton tried to implement a federal ruling on overcrowding.  What WAS that federal ruling on overcrowding, and how did Paris try to implement it?  Anyway, it seems that the judge doubled her sentence and violated her civil rights.  Maybe next time, Paris won’t go around trying to implement federal rules.  (Personally, I don’t think she’s qualified).

It also seems that he is retaliating against her for being mentally upset or Sick and being noticed by her jailors as being sick.

Right.  Because nothing upsets judges more than sick people.  They take it personally, and this is just payback.

It is their job to monitor their prisoners and make decisions on the running of the jail unhindered by a state authority judge.

What’s a "state authority judge"?

Her rights under the Americans with Disabilities act have been violated.

Problem.  To have rights under the ADA, you must actually be — oh — you know — disabled.  As in, have a history of medical or psychological problems that have hindered your life in a major way, and for which you have received treatment.

Being a whiny rich daddy’s girl doesn’t count.

The judges anger at her being released is unlawful….

The judge’s anger is unlawful?  ANGER is unlawful?

The judges anger at her being released is unlawful in that he has allowed his perception of public opinion to sway his legal judgement and then punish her for the implimentation of the federal ADA law and mandated federal overcrowding ruling.

Ah.  Ok.

It also seems that his sending her back to serve 40 some days in prison for the Sherrif’s decision to send her home is double jeopardy.

That’s Omar Sharif, for those of you confused by this letter.

Non the less until the issue of violation of her civil rights and the issue of fair and equal treatment has been addressed in FEDERAL COURT she should be released.

Non the less, I think Paris’s fans are walking on very thin ice if the basis of their complaints is that Paris is NOT getting "equal" treatment.

What she did was wrong but her perception of that wrong was a product of the enviroment that she was raised and should be considered when deciding how to punish her.

Right.  See, it doesn’t matter what the law says.  What matters is your perception of the law .  For example, if you murder someone, but you think (because of your upbringing) that murder is okay, then you get less of a sentence than someone who was raised to think that murder is bad.  Don’t you get it?

This has not been done and again perhaps this violates the ADA.

She’s disabled because she had stupid parents?  Whaaaa?

She has a mental childhood related handicap.

Far be it for me to second-guess the brilliant legal and medical mind of "Larry".