Actual Transcript Of My Conversation With Anna, The Automated IKEA USA Online Assistant

Ken AshfordRandom MusingsLeave a Comment

Img_ikea_chatTalk to her here:

Welcome to IKEA. How can I help you?


Welcome to IKEA. How can I help you?

What’s up?

I’m fine, thank you for asking.

What is your name?

You are talking to Anna, the IKEA USA Online Assistant. My job is to answer your questions about IKEA

What do you do?

I work on this website to help people with any questions or queries they might have about IKEA’s products and services.

Do you get paid?

A very good question, but one that I’m afraid I’m unable to answer at this point in time.

Are the hours long?

I’m very sorry, but I can’t really talk about things like that at this time.

Can I work at IKEA?

If you are out-going, dedicated, customer-service oriented and interested in working as part of a team, contact the IKEA store near you for possible openings, or have a look at the jobs on the IKEA employment section of this site. Click on ‘Jobs Search’ to find a listing of vacancies in all US stores.

What does IKEA do?

How is IKEA different from other furnishing stores? We offer a wide range, good design and function, and also low prices. That’s our business idea.

Low prices? Like, how low?

I think you’re confused or trying to ask me a question, but I need more than that to give you a proper answer. Please try again.

You’re not much help!

I’m sorry, it’s possible I may have misinterpreted what it was you said. Please try and ask your question in a different way.

Forget it.

As you wish. I will forget it, but, would you like to ask me something else about IKEA?

Your hair is messy

I’m really not sure what you’re trying to say. Please ensure your questions and comments are relevant to IKEA.

Ok. Does IKEA know your hair is messy?

The IKEA business idea is: "We shall offer a wide range of well-designed, functional home furnishing products at prices so low that as many people as possible will be able to afford them."

Does IKEA know that you eat squirrels?

I don’t have a favorite food. I’m an IKEA Online Assistant, here to help customers with queries about our products and services.

Do you have a boyfriend?

I’m an Online Assistant designed to help customers of IKEA. Having a romantic interest isn’t a possibility.

Ok. Then do you have a girlfriend?

That’s not at all relevant to IKEA. Please ask me something else.

Aha! You have a girlfriend!

You can find all products on the H├ůVE product line in the page I am now opening for you.

You’re changing the subject.

A good education is important, but I’m not here to talk about that. Let’s talk about IKEA instead.

You’re an idiot.

I am sorry you feel that way, but I am just a computer program. My knowledge is improving every day, through dialogues like this one. Please ask as many questions about IKEA as you like.

No thanks. Goodbye, loser.

Bye, then! It was very nice talking to you!