Not The Right Stuff

Ken AshfordCrimeLeave a Comment

27756215 They don’t make astronauts like they used to, I guess.

Once the very definition of "hero", we now have astronauts that are one step above trailor trash.  Yup, a mission specialist on a shuttle flight last summer is sitting in a Florida jail now, having been charged with plotting to kidnap a woman who was her rival for the heart of another astronaut.

A NASA astronaut faces her first appearance before a judge this morning after police say she attacked her rival for another astronaut’s attention at Orlando International Airport Monday.

Lisa Marie Nowak drove more than 12 hours from Texas to meet the 1 a.m. flight of a younger woman who had also been seeing the astronaut Nowak pined for, according to Orlando police. She is being held on no bond at Orange County Jail and has a court appearance at 9 a.m.

27757523_1Nowak — who was a mission specialist on a Space Shuttle Discovery flight last summer — was wearing a trench coat and wig and had a knife, BB pistol, and latex gloves in her car, reports show. They also found diapers, which Nowak said she used so she wouldn’t have to stop on the 1,000-mile drive. Reports show that after U.S. Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman’s flight arrived, Nowak followed her to the airport’s Blue Lot for long-term parking, tried to get into Shipman’s car and then doused her with pepper spray.

Nowak, 43, is charged with attempted kidnapping, battery, attempted vehicle burglary with battery and destruction of evidence. Police considered her such a danger that they requested she be held without bail in the Orange County Jail, reports show.

A married mother of three, Nowak told police that she was "involved in a relationship with," Bill Oefelein, another NASA astronaut, which she categorized as "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship," according to the charging affidavit.

Wonkette loves this story — the astronaut who wore diapers on a journey to spray her rival with pepper spray:

The story has everything! And be “everything” we mean “astronauts.” Just say “astronaut love triangle” out loud. It’s been proven by science to be the funniest phrase possible to use in an AP lede.