Well, God Spoke To Me And Told Me That Pat Robertston Is Batshit Insane

Ken AshfordGodstuffLeave a Comment

Robertson20pat723880_1So God and Pat Robertson have been having another tete-a-tete.  And God (through Pat) has some bad news for 2007:

Evangelical broadcaster Pat Robertson said Tuesday that God has told him that a terrorist attack on the United States would cause a "mass killing" late in 2007.

"I’m not necessarily saying it’s going to be nuclear," he said during his news-and-talk television show "The 700 Club" on the Christian Broadcasting Network.

It’s "not necessarily" going to be nuclear?  Was the Lord being cagy with you, Pat?

"The Lord didn’t say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."

Ah.  Thanks for clearing that up.  Well, should I start buying duct tape, or do I have some time?

God also said, he claims, that major cities and possibly millions of people will be affected by the attack, which should take place sometime after September.

Wait a second.  God told Pat when it would take place, but not how?  Or even more importantly, where?  Man, Pat’s God is a real S.O.B.

The AP story very politely and delicately reminds us that Pat’s past conversations with God have not enjoyed, um, excesses of reliabilty:

The broadcaster predicted in January 2004 that President Bush would easily win re-election.

Bush won 51 percent of the vote that fall, beating Democratic Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts.

In 2005, Robertson predicted that Bush would have victory after victory in his second term. He said Social Security reform proposals would be approved and Bush would nominate conservative judges to federal courts.

Lawmakers confirmed Bush’s 2005 nominations of John Roberts and Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. But the president’s Social Security initiative was stalled.

In May, Robertson said God told him that storms and possibly a tsunami were to crash into America’s coastline in 2006.

Even though the U.S. was not hit with a tsunami, Robertson on Tuesday cited last spring’s heavy rains and flooding in New England as partly fulfilling the prediction.

Here’s the kicker quote:

"I have a relatively good track record," [Robertson] said. "Sometimes I miss."

Wait wait wait.  What’s this "I" stuff?  These predictions have (supposedly) been God talking to you.  Is the omniscient God lying, Pat?  Or are you?