Orange Bowl Random Thoughts

Ken AshfordPopular CultureLeave a Comment

Electricfootball_2_14_06_1I’m watching the Big Faceless Corporation Orange Bowl because Wake is playing and I live in Winston-Salem, so it’s the law.  Normally, I couldn’t care less about college football.  In fact, I can hardly muster caring about this.  Nevertheless, some thoughts:

(1)  Good God.  Leave Muhammed Ali alone.  If you’re going to wheel him out in public, then it should be at an affair where he’s the center of attention and nobody turns their back on him.  He’s earned it.  (Yes, Arnold Palmer, I’m looking at you.)

(2)  Somebody needs to tell Wake Forest that you’re supposed to run forward when the ball is handed to you.  When you run it backwards, you tend to lose yards, and that makes it harder to achieve first down.

(3)  In fact, this entire game looks like those electric football games where the players vibrate and go any old which way.

(4)  Taylor Hicks at halftime?  Kewl.

(5)  Yes, please tell me the backstory about the Wake quarterback who lost his two younger brothers in a car accident last February.  By the way, there’s some cosmic connection between Wake Forest students and car accidents.  It’s sad, but those students can’t seem to go off-campus without smashing into telephone poles.  It seems that nearly every morning on my way to work, I drive by the emergency service crews as they scrape dead Wake Forest students off the road.  Very tragic.

(6)  What’s with all the cute-sie plays ("gadgets" they’re called?)??  You guys aren’t in Cirque De Soliel.

(7)  Also, note to Wake Forest: when you find a play that actually causes you to gain yards, don’t run the same play four or five times in a row.  The defense usually figures it out by the third time.

(8)  Did I say these teams are playing like one of those electric football games?  More like two squads of Muhammad Ali’s.

(9)  Taylor, Gladys Knight out-souled you.  Sorry.

(10)  Okay, the second half much more closely resembles the game I know as "football".  Sadly, I’m too tired to watch the rest of it.  Even though it’s a tie now, I suspect Wake Forest will lose.