If Bush Played “Deal Or No Deal”

Ken AshfordIraqLeave a Comment

From Bill in Portland Maine:

Howie: Mr. President, you have picked every case in numerical order from one through 23. Each successive case you chose contained the highest dollar amount on the board. And every time the banker offered you a deal you shouted…
Bush: No deal! Stay the course! HehHehHeh!
Howie: So now we’re down to three cases. The one dollar case, the five dollar case, and the ten dollar case. If you like, you can talk over your next choice with the Iraq Study Group…
Iraq Study Group: Mr. President, we think that the situation is dire and we…
Bush: Hey, I’m the decider, not you! And what I decide is I want lucky number 24!
Howie: Condi…open the case.
Condi: I hope it’s a million dollars for my husb…er, the president!


Howie: Oh, what a surprise. You picked the ten dollar case.
Bush: Hell yeah! Did I win a million dollars?
Howie: No. You really should’ve done some planning before you came on the show…

[Brrreep! Brrreep!]

Howie: Hello banker. Yes. Yes. No, I can’t say that to his face, he’s the president. Okay. Mr. President, the banker is offering you a deal: three dollars and 12 cents.
Bush: Whaddya think, Dick?
Cheney: Well, uh, I think, uh, the banker’s in his last throes, if you will.
Bush: Rummy?
Rumsfeld: Gosh, I still think the million dollars will be located. It’s in Burbank and parts north, east, south and west somewhat.
Bush: We will not cut and run until the mission is accomplished. No deal, Kojak!
Howie: Unbelievable. Okay, the last case on the stage is number 25. Karen Hughes…open the damn thing.


Howie: There it is—five dollars. That means your case, Mr. President, contains the sum of…one dollar.
Bush: I win! Get my flight suit…it’s time to party!