Ken AshfordRight Wing Punditry/IdiocyLeave a Comment

"Groganism" – n. (1) a strained metaphor or simile, or a series of mixed metaphors, inserted into a political opinion column; (2) misused words and phrases — named after columnist Kaye Grogan

Today’s Groganisms:

"If the pollsters associated with Zolby, the Associated Press, and other liberal media would conduct polls without allowing themselves to be systematically biased — they would have more than a snowball’s chance of providing more accurate numbers."

Because snowballs, as you know, always provide inaccurate numbers.

"With the Democrats salivating profusely at the mouth, it’s time to show them whose boss."

Tony’s Danza.

"Is it just me or do a lot of you see those lopsided tinseled halos glowing in the dark — when a Democrat is on television trying to tell us how wonderful and pure they are?"

It’s just you, Kaye.  You need to adjust the brightness control on your TV.

"I find it amazing when the Democrats fall off of the ‘goody two-shoes’ bandwagon they refuse to resign and play the blame game."

The Goody Two-Shoes Bandwagon sounds like a bluegrass group.  You know, the kind that appears at the Appalachian Mountain Clog Jamboree Festival?

"People are tired of the liberal politicians painting over their leopard spots hoping the paint won’t wear off before they lie and smooth talk their way back into office."

Because, you see, liberal politicians are leopards.  And leopards, as you know, get a spot for every lie they tell.  Or something.

"Let’s give em’ the November surprise they truly deserve on Tuesday, and get those silly "I swallowed the canary" grins off of their faces."

Leopards eat canaries.  Bet you didn’t know that.