(With apologies to Keith Olberman)

The award goes to Kurt Cass, a 16-year old fat bastard who beat up his grandmother with a two-by-four because she initially refused to give him $100 to buy beer:

Investigators say Cass went into his 60-year-old grandmother’s bedroom Thursday and asked her for $100 for beer. When she refused, he allegedly placed a razor blade on her throat and demanded she take him to the bank to get the money, deputies said.

She finally acquieseced, and drove with Kurt to the ATM at the gas station.  But then she sped off, leaving him there, and returning home.

"When the victim arrived back home she locked all of the doors," deputies reported. "The defendant arrived back home and kicked the front door in.

"Once inside the defendant grabbed a two foot 2×4 piece of wood and hit the victim numerous times on the back. The defendant then grabbed a three foot piece of 3 inch PVC pipe and hit the victim on her head, back, and legs numerous times. The defendant’s case worker arrived on scene and was able to hold him until law enforcement arrived."