Conservative columnist Debbie Schlussel is serious:
Today’s New York Times details a Japanese scientific on earwax and body odor in Asians vs. Europeans and Africans. There is actually an "earwax gene" in DNA that determines this.
But the paper glosses over the most important finding. The study found that Europeans and Africans tend to have wet ear wax, sweat more, and have more under arm body odor than Asians, who have dry ear wax and don’t sweat much. But the study also found that "Native" Americans have dry ear wax and body odor similar to Asians, proving they migrated here from Asia.
So whom did THEY steal the land from? Somebody else, obviously. Yet, no "Dances With Wolves" and "Into the West" from Hollywood about that.
That’s right. This is not satire. Debbie Schlussel is making the argument, based on earwax and body odor studies, that Native Americans originally came over from Asia. Which is true. In fact, it’s so true that they teach that in high school. You don’t need an earwax and body odor study to deduce this.
But her implied point, which is hysterical, is that this shows that the Native Americans were not indeed "native", and therefore the Europeans had the right to steal America from the Indians (since the Indians stole it from someone else).
Only Debbie could take an earwax study, and turn into a screed of support for American expansionism.