Time to check in on our favorite Renew America wingnut, Kaye Grogan.

Today Kaye writes about Kerry, the Alito nomination, and abortion.  She gets off to a shaky start:

Senator John Kerry is trying for one last "hurrah" using Judge Samuel A. Alito as his whipping post — calling for a filibuster.

A last hurrah?  Is Kerry going somewhere?

Where were you Mr. Kerry when Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Steven Breyer, two liberals nominated by former President Bill Clinton as they were awaiting confirmation and a full senate vote? Oh wait a minute . . . I’m confused.

Kaye is confused.  Imagine our surprise.

Let me see if I can get this straight. It’s hard to keep up with folks who change their minds like they change songs on their Ipods. I remember now: Ginsburg and Breyer were your kind of judges.

Kaye’s point here is that Kerry is "flip-flopper". 

You see, Kerry didn’t filibuster Ginsburg and Breyer (because Kerry liked them). 

But Kerry is filibustering Alito (because he doesn’t like him).

So he’s a flip-flopper who "changed his mind". QED.

It’s like . . . you know when it’s raining and you take an umbrella when you leave home?  And then on other days — when it’s sunny — you leave the umbrella at home ?  You do that because you’re a flip-flopper, too.  Like Kerry.  Like the playlists on your iPod.

Make sense?

Okay, here goes!

Wheeeeeee!

Mr. Kerry — you and most of the other Democrats are running scared that Judge Alito will be the Supreme who will overturn or at least attempt to overturn the dreadful Roe V. Wade decision that provided a way for mothers to kill their unborn babies legally.

Is Kerry running scared before or after he puts Alito on the whipping post?  Does Diana Ross have a say?

The gruesome statistics of how many innocent babies have been slaughtered, has now reached 47 million from 1973-2005. More lives lost than all wars combined.

All wars combined?  Gee.  My math’s a little rusty.  55 million were killed in WWII alone.  Is that a bigger or smaller number than 47 million?

And this is not even counting the abortions worldwide. Are the Democrats striving for 47 or more million?

I confess.  We get an extra PDO if we reach a total of 100 million by 2020.

Is this what you think it takes to make a nation great? God forbid in your eyes, that a woman’s right to choose take the backseat to tiny defenseless babies. Boy, what a choice! Because with every choice — another life will be snuffed out.

With every choice?  No, see, Kaye.  If it is a choice, then (by definition), some people will choose NOT to have an abortion.

It would be more humane to let them be born and shoot them — at least they wouldn’t look like human chickens cut up.

Actually, we find "human chickens" to be a rather disturbing image whether or not they’re cut up.

But we like the logic here.  Abortion is bad because it leaves the babies human chickens looking kind of "icky".  After all, looks are important, especially before you’re born. 

Perhaps Kaye will next recommend killing ugly people after they’re born, since we don’t like ickiness and gross stuff like that.

Oh, wait.  She already did recommend killing people after they’re born.  Okay.

I guess — if they are quartered like beef parts in the womb — that doesn’t fit the definition of murder?

Chickens?  Beef parts?  Kaye wrote her screed just before dinner, I guess.

Actually, Kaye, becoming like quartered beef parts doesn’t meet the legal definition of murder.  They taught me this in law school. "Murder" means the unlawful killing of an actual human being, something a fetus is not.

What are blobs of tissue anyway?

"How noble in reason!  How infinite in faculties!  In form and moving, how express and admirable! In action how like an angel!"

All of us who eventually made it out of the womb into human form must have been something else besides a fetus or baby while we were in the womb.

A chicken, perhaps?  A flank of steak?  Raw dough?  Man, I’m hungry.

Now my curiosity is up or maybe I’m confused, about how human are fetuses, before they become actual human beings?

Hmmmmm.  Curious or confused?  I’m going to go with . . . confused.

Whether a fetus is an "actual human being" is a matter of what you believe regarding the beginning of human life, a question which turns on personal beliefs about religion, philosophy and science. 

Of course, there’s no right answer.  Wouldn’t it be nice if everybody could decide that for themselves without government interference?  You know . . . make up their own choice?

If you would like to see the ghastly procedure of how a baby is 90 percent born before a partial-birth abortion is performed, you can get the details at http://www.nrlc.org/. Many people can’t comprehend what it means for a baby to be 90 percent born. Well, I’ll enlighten you. It means that the entire baby is out of the birth canal except for its head.

Wow.  So the head of the baby is only 10% of its entire body.  That’s one small-headed baby you got there, Kaye.

Also, I wasn’t aware that babies are normally born feet-first, but whatever.

Finally, our dear ADD-afflicted Kaye returns to the subject of John Kerry.

Mr. Kerry — only eternity last forever.

Wha???  I need to read that again.

Mr. Kerry — only eternity last forever.

Okay.  Um.  Okay.  Wow.  Okay.  I have no idea what that means.  Maybe the next sentence will help.

So it’s time the U.S. Supreme Court is stacked with conservative judges.

I see.  We have to stack SCOTUS with conservative judges because eternity is the only thing that lasts last forever.

Gotcha.

The liberals have had their heyday, and it’s time things changed around for the better.

Yeah.  For the past five years, it’s been nothing but a liberal lovefest in Washington.