Friday iPod Random Ten – The Christmas List

Ken AshfordGodstuffLeave a Comment

Nhsnow I haven’t done this in a while, but because I’ve blogged so much about the "War on Christmas" lately, I thought I’d see how anti-Christ I am by checking out the holiday Christmas songs on my iPod.

All songs are graded on the zero-to-ten O’Reilly Scale ("0" means I am damned for all time; "10" means you can bring on the Rapture, because I’m coming home to Jesus):

(1)  Wonderful Christmas – Paul McCartney — Okay, a pretty lame song, but it *does* use the word Christmas.  On the other hand, nothing specifically about Jesus.  O’Reilly score: 5

(2)  Lieutenant Kije Suite – Prokofiev — Not a word about Jesus, or even Christmas.  Just a classical song invoking a sleigh ride.  And we know that they didn’t have sleighs in Bethlehem.  O’Reilly score: 0

(3)  What Child Is This/Greensleeves – Charlotte Church — The "child", of course, is Baby Jesus.  And Charlotte Church?  Even her name has a Christian ring. Yippee!!  O’Reilly score: 10

(4)  Jingle Jingle Jingle – From "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" — Nope.  Nothing about Jesus.  Calls Santa Claus by the name "Kris Kringle".  O’Reilly score: 0

(5)  O Tannenbaum – Vince Guaraldi (from "A Charlie Brown Christmas") — Jazz?  On Jesus’ birthday? O’Reilly score: 2

(6)  The Meaning of Christmas – From "A Charlie Brown Christmas" — This isn’t a song; this is the soliloquy that Linus gives where he quotes from the Bible about the babe wrapped in swaddling cloth.  O’Reilly score: 11

(7) You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch – From the special of the same name — Well, even though this special purports to be about the meaning of Christmas, it mentions nothing about Jesus.  It’s all about love and singing and being nice to people.  O’Reilly score: 1

(8)  Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow – Ella Fitzgerald — This song not only fails to mention Jesus, but it doesn’t even mention Christmas.  It’s just a secular weather report.  O’Reilly score: 0

(9)  Winter Wonderland – Annie Lennox — Here we go again.  This song not only fails to mention Jesus, but it doesn’t even mention Christmas.  In fact, it mocks religion during the part where it talks about Parson Brown.  O’Reilly score: 0

(10)  The Little Drummer Boy – Harry Simeone Chorus — A song about a poor kid who does a drum solo for Baby Jesus.  Mary and Joseph politely smile, but are actually happier with the gold and frankincense and myrrh from those other guys.  O’Reilly score: 8


That means that I hate Christmas, but I’m not quote to the point where I’m burning creches in my spare time.