I mean, really:

RALEIGH, N.C.  School principals from Newton, Mass., to Denver find themselves increasingly haunted at Halloween by this refrain: Get out, ye ghoulies!

Bowing to concerns of a wide range of groups – from Christians who consider Halloween to have pagan or satanic overtones to church-state separatists who object to the holiday’s religious roots – some elementary schools are canceling their customary costume parades and Halloween celebrations.

In their place are "Fall-o-ween" events, which take note of harvest and seasonal change but that eliminate all things spooky – or controversial.

"There’s been a steady growth of the number of people and the kinds of perspectives objecting to Halloween, and it’s become a real issue for schools," says Charles Haynes at the First Amendment Center in Arlington, Va. "There’s a lot of strangeness around this issue."

***

In Centennial, Colo., Red Hawk Ridge Elementary School, intoning Lemony Snicket’s Count Olaf, ordered: "No costumes. No parade. No Halloween." Costumes that do make it to school will be "neutralized." In Hammond, Ind., the district will be costume-free Monday. In Newton, Mass., principal David Castelline, who last year dressed up as Red Sox hitter Johnny Damon, acceded to demands from religious parents to banish Halloween.

Peggy Beasley-Rodgers, principal of Raleigh’s Washington Elementary School ("Home of the Wizards"), says pumpkins get decorated and teachers dress up, but costumes are allowed only as part of a "curriculum-driven" literary parade. Teachers avoid using the word Halloween, says Ms. Beasley-Rodgers, who Friday wore a shirt with the word "boo!" "Children think Halloween is the best holiday of the year," she says, "but one of the concessions that we make is we don’t really do anything specifically for Halloween."

Note to religious conservatives: if your God(s) is actually threatened by children dressing up as bunnies and going door-to-door asking for candy, your God is pretty sensitive.  It’s just a fun holiday!!  Get over it!!!

UPDATE: And the same goes for you, Chavez!