NASCAR – The Sport of Pussies?

Ken AshfordPopular CultureLeave a Comment

I don’t get the appeal of NASCAR.  I really don’t.  It’s as exciting to watch as butter melting, except when they crash, and I don’t find human mutilation to be entertaining.

I’ve always assumed that there is some technical prowess involved for the drivers, but as a spectator, I can’t appreciate it because I can’t see what they are doing.  But it looks like I may be wrong.  The success of a driver apparently depends on, not his skill, but his weight.  At least, that’s what Robby Gordon is indicating in his recent whine:

Robby Gordon accused Danica Patrick of having an unfair advantage in the Indianapolis 500 and said yesterday he will not compete in the race again unless the field is equalized.

Gordon, a former open-wheel driver now in NASCAR, contends that Patrick is at an advantage over the rest of the competitors because she only weighs 100 pounds. Because all the cars weigh the same, Patrick’s is lighter on the race track.

“The lighter the car, the faster it goes,” Gordon said. “Do the math. Put her in the car at her weight, then put me or Tony Stewart in the car at 200 pounds and our car is at least 100 pounds heavier.

“I won’t race against her until the IRL does something to take that advantage away."

Danica Patrick finished fourth in this past weekend’s Indy 500, the highest placement for a woman competitor.

To Gordon, I suggest you look at other sports.  Tall basketball players.  Midget jockeys.  Breastless gymnasts.  Huge linebackers.  You name it, size and shape plays a role in almost every sport, and in none of them do we try to equalize the body types.  If indeed NASCAR qualifies as a “sport”, then you better stop whining and switch to salads, Gordo.