Seriously, it's this:
That's right. Barack Hussein Nobama made a Marine violate miltary code by forcing him to hold an umbrella.
That's the scandal du jour.
And indeed, military code says that a soldier in dress uniform should not carry an umbrella.
But military code experts say something like this:
“IF THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF GIVES YOU A LAWFUL ORDER YOU FOLLOW THE MOTHERFUCKING LAWFUL ORDER. IF THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF WANTS AN UMBRELLA YOU BETTER BELIEVE A WHOLE FUCKING GRIP OF JARHEARDS ARE GONNA BE HIGH-STEPPING TO BRING HIM A MOTHERFUCKING UMBRELLA!”