BREAKING NEWS: EARTHQUAKE SHOCK HORROR!

Ken AshfordDisasters1 Comment

SEISMIC EVENT ROCKS WINSTON-SALEM AT 4:56 A.M.!!! TRIAD RESIDENTS FLEE TO THEIR WORKPLACES AND SCHOOLS TO DISCUSS "THE GREAT ’06 EARTHQUAKE"!!! Early Reports Suggest That Literally Dozens Of People Have Been Stricken With Mildly Interesting Albeit Somewhat Predictable Anecdotes "Kinda Like When A Leper Fell Into My Arms" Says One Community Member (see below) AREA MAN Wonders If Shaking Was … Read More

When The Levees Broke

Ken AshfordDisastersLeave a Comment

If you haven’t got Spike Lee’s 4 hour documentary on HBO about Katrina, you should.  It was moving. (Yes,  yes — I know you’re busy.  Get a TIVO, for Chrissakes!)

Katrina Anniversary

Ken AshfordBush & Co., DisastersLeave a Comment

First, some one-year-after-the-fact facts: – Less than half of the city’s pre-storm population of 460,000 has returned, putting the population at roughly what it was in 1880. – Nearly a third of the trash has yet to be picked up. – Sixty percent of homes still lack electricity. – Seventeen percent of the buses are operational. – Half of the … Read More

2006 Hurricane Names

Ken AshfordDisasters2 Comments

We’re dealing with Beryl off the East Coast now. Which one will be the next Katrina? 2006 Hurricane Names AlbertoBerylChrisDebbyErnestoFlorenceGordonHeleneIsaacJoyceKirkLeslieMichaelNadineOscarPattyRafaelSandyTonyValerieWilliam I can’t help but noticing that "Debby" is on the list.  Since I am going to be in a production of "Debbie Does Dallas" in late August (see sidebar at right), I’m wondering if the two events will coincide.  Not … Read More

Heckuva Constitutional Infringement, FEMA.

Ken AshfordConstitution, DisastersLeave a Comment

I had to read this two or three times to make sure I was getting it right: Residents of trailer parks set up by the Federal Emergency Management Agency to house hurricane victims in Louisiana aren’t allowed to talk to the press without an official escort, The (Baton Rouge) Advocate reported. In one instance, a security guard ordered an Advocate … Read More

Natural Disaster Watch

Ken AshfordDisastersLeave a Comment

What’s your pleasure? (1)  New Orleans sinking into the ground? (2)  A supervolcano under Yellowstone Park about to blow? (3)  Mount St. Helen’s get all steamy again

Hope You’re Enjoying Your Last Few Hours Alive

Ken AshfordDisastersLeave a Comment

As I reported last month, May 25th (that’s today) is the day the world is supposed to end, thanks to Comet 73P Schwassmann-Wachmann coming down on our heads. I’m glad to see that you all are behaving yourselves, and not engaging in rioting and looting and sex orgies and such. Or if you are, you haven’t invited me, which is … Read More

Are We Safe?

Ken AshfordDisasters, War on Terrorism/TortureLeave a Comment

Apparently not. (1)  Natural disaster drill canceled because of red-tape confusion: A mock evacuation that was supposed to be part of a two-day statewide hurricane preparedness drill was canceled after a misunderstanding about who had jurisdiction over a Federal Emergency Management Agency trailer park. Imagine what would have happened if it was not a drill. (2)  New Jersey toxic chemical … Read More

President Bush Responds To Flooding Emergency

Ken AshfordDisastersLeave a Comment

…in the State of Washington!!!  From floods that happened between January 27 through February 4. Meanwhile, in New Hampshire… With belongings and damaged materials strewn about the lawn, Rick Langelier and Terry Papagni take a break from cleaning up to eat pizza donated by a local restaurant. Island Drive residents began returning to their homes to tear out soggy carpeting … Read More