Orly Taitz is an attorney and a doctor and she's the one filing all these lawsuits trying to prove that Obama was actually a Kenyan.

Having had one of her cases thrown out of federal court last week (with an admonishment from the judge that if she continues to waste the court's time, she'll be fined), now she's the object of conspiracy theories, apparently.  My how the worm turns:

Please don't listen to vicious rumors

Attorney Orly Taitz responds to her critics

I am getting close to removing the Usurper, and there are more and more vicious rumors about me and my whole family. It is 5:30 in the morning and I had to cut on sleep yet again to take some time and debunk all those vicious rumors.

The Usurper is a Batman villian now, I think.

First, there was a rumor that there is a declaration by Larry Sinclair filed with court. Please, go on Pacer, it is a public record. There is nothing there, no such declaration. People need to understand that a person cannot just come from the street and file a declaration or an affidavit. It has to be filed by a party to the action. Either I, as an attorney for the plaintiffs, or the attorney for the defendants, assistant U.S. attorney, would file something. Neither I nor the U.S. attorney filed any such affidavit or declaration.

Dr. Orly Taitz learned that in law school.  And I use the word "in" advisedly.  You see, she received a law degree from William Howard Taft Law School.  Which is a "distance learning" law school only.  So she wasn't IN law school.  Also, Taft isn't accredited by the ABA.  No, I'm not kidding.

There was a rumor that there was some complaint filed with the CA bar and I was disbarred. None of it is true. Please go on the web site of CA bar and see that I am an attorney in good standing and never had any action against me.

Not yet, anyway.

There was a rumor that Philip Berg somehow became part of my case with judge Carter and filed a subpoena to ambassador of Kenya as part of this case. Again, Berg has nothing to do with this case. There is nothing in the case having to do with Berg.

Berg is another birther attorney who also gets his cases routinely thrown out of court.  That's why it's easy to understand why so many people apparently think the two are working together.

Lastly, there was a vicious rumor that my husband is somehow connected with swine flu and swine flu vaccine. Again, ridiculous rumor.

My husband studied computer science and business. He never studied pharmacology, doesn't know pharmacology and wouldn't know the difference between a virus and an elephant.

One doesn't need to study phramacology to know the difference between a virus and an elephant.

He is a CEO of a company that produces a software, which is a tool used in research.

Whoa there, Einstein!  You're going to fast.  Now what is this "software" thing of which you speak?

It is used by many universities in the country. It is used in agriculture research, in chemical research, in any research that deals with molecules and computation of properties of molecules, that are being synthesised. There are millions and millions of molecules in the world. New ones are being synthesised every day, my husband has no clue what different companies are doing in their research. It is similar to any other software that is used as a tool.

So he makes software used for agricultural research and molecules.  Actually, that does connect him with the swine flu — just as much as Obama's grandparents being Kenyan connects Obama to Kenya.

There is an accounting software, quicken. A computer engineer, who invented this software didn't become your accountant, didn't enter the information in your tax returns. Microsoft Word or Word Perfect is used by many writers, but it didn't make Microsoft a poet or a comedian or a screen writer. Microsoft Word or Word Perfect is just a tool.

No, no.  I'm sorry.  I'm just not following you, Orly.

I hope I explained this point and wouldn't have to go to it again.

That makes two of us.

My husband is a good man, he is a devoted father and he is there for our three sons when I am travelling around the country raising support for Obama's illegitimacy issue, when I am in court fighting to make sure this country doesn't turn into another Communist Hell, as I experienced as a child, so we don't live under Dictator Obama with all his szars like another Himler or Herring or another Beria.

In other words, your husband behaves responsibly, while his kids' mommy is annoying the country on her Dingbat Tour.

By the way, I know there are many ways to spell "czars" — or "tsars" — but "szars" is a new one for me.

I hope people stop attacking my family and start attacking Obama and demand that he produce his vital records immediately or resign or be removed immediately. Judge Carter has written "Court encourages discovery before the scheduling conference (it is on October 5th)" I have submitted a proposed deposition schedule. Let's make sure Obama shows up for his deposition with his hospital birth certificate ready for examination.

Yeah.  Don't hold your breath.

UPDATE:  It gets funnier as the day goes on.

TPM posted a letter one of Orly's clients, telling her to stop representation.  Orly now says the letter is a forgery.  Yup, Obama birth certificate is a forgery; so is the letter from her ex-client.

Here's what Orly wrote TPM today:

I don't know if this letter came from her, since she is in Iraq now and the Office -max store from where it came, states that they don't send faxes for customers. The signature on her notarized letter from Kansas and this letter looks different.
Regardless, whether it is her or not, there is no ground for accusations. She authorized me to proceed with the legal action. Motion for reconsideration is a routine procedure and attorney is not required to get an additional consent from the client. Any attorney will confirm that. That is particularly true in exigent circumstances like these.

Wrong, Orly.  You can't do squat without the client's permission, especially when the client tells you to cease and desist.

It appears Connie was pressured by the military. It appear to be a concerted effort to quash all free speech, particularly any legal challenges to Obama's legitimacy, Attorney Hemenway in DC was threatened with sanctions of $10,000, I was threatened with sanctions. Connie Rhodes was threatened with high costs of litigation to be paid to the Department of Defense and Department of Justice. It is possible that this letter was written to avoid paying high litigation costs.

So the letter is from her now, and she was pressured?

The most important question is still on the table: why would the judge levy $10,000 in sanctions instead of instructing Obama to produce a real Hospital birth certificate with a name of the hospital name of the doctor and signatures , so we can locate this birthing file? Why go to such extend?

Because your case is bullshit?

 The only answer is: that the administration is scared, they know they have nothing to show for except for the piece of JPG garbage that Obama posted on the Internet (no name of the hospital, no name of the doctor).

Yes, of course.  And the judge is.. uh… in on it?

Well, all good that ends good. This threat of sanctions gives me an opportunity to demand rule 11 discovery and get all of Obama' records through the back door

Orly Taitz DDS Esq

Uh, you're going to lose your license, dear. 

And by the way, no discovery under Rule 11.