I miss Kaye Grogan.  She was a columnist for Renew America, a right-wing Christian/political website started by many-times presidential candidate Alan Keyes.  Kaye was crazy, and her columns had the added pleasure of being written in the worst English-torturing manner.  I mean, worse than my writing even.

Kaye's columns quietly disappeared from the Intertubes a year or so ago, and there's been a void.

I wish I could say that Renew America's Joan Swirsky can fill Kaye's shoes, but typically, she can't.  This week's Joan Swirsky column, however, is a rare gem worthy of calling "Grogan-esque".

The Obama disaster machine: unfortunate coincidences or malevolently premeditated?

By Joan Swirsky

Is it only me, or do the multiple disasters that have struck both well before and ever since the disastrous election of Barack Obama seem fishy to you?

I won't discuss the stock market crash of September 2008 here, although if anything seemed suspiciously timed and deliberately manipulated, it was that! Even before that, we had the specter of a radical leftist of questionable birth origins and contempt for both capitalism and the U.S. Constitution being given a total pass by a strangely incurious media whose members had clearly been intimidated or threatened into a thundering silence.

That's a pretty hefty accusation that Joan throws out there.  Apparently, long before he became president, Obama manipulated the stock market crash and intimidated the entire United State press corps.

How did he manage to do that?  Well, look at him!  He's an intimidating black man!

In the months that followed Obama's "election," we saw literally trillions of dollars in "urgent" bailouts and stimulus packages, all of which brought us escalating unemployment and a skittish if not paranoid stock market.

Right.  It was the bailouts and stimulus package that caused a skittish stock market and unemployment — not the aforementioned stock market crash of September 2008.

We saw a nationally-loathed healthcare bill — gigantic in size and mysterious in content — rammed through Congress with bribes, threats, and intimidation.

"Mysterious in content" if you didn't bother to read it, or even read about it.  By the way, who in Congress was bribed, threatened and/or intimidated?

And we saw the attempts by Obama and his fellow leftists to jam an equally-detested cap-and-trade tax down our throats.

Uh…. cap-and-trade isn't a "tax".  It's a free market approach to controlling pollution by giving companies incentives not to pollute.  Aren't conservatives supposed to love the free market?

Mmmmm. Wasn't that just about the time the tragic West Virginia mine disaster happened, killing 29 of 31 miners? What a coincidence! A "president" who hates coal as an energy source being presented with a putative reason to destroy the coal industry!

Oh, wait.  Now Obama was behind the Upper Big Branch mine disaster last April too?!?

Kind of reminds you of the recent BP oil spill, doesn't it? A "president" still pushing the cap-and-trade scheme who reviles domestically-acquired oil — although not the windfall of money BP donated to his presidential campaign — being presented with an oh-so-convenient rationalization to cancel all domestic drilling! Again, what a coincidence!

So… BP donated money to Obama, after which he turned around and stabbed them in the back by causing the oil spill, and then establishing a moratorium on "all" domestic drilling.

Heh. Suckers.

These disasters benefit Obama's agenda, which is to destroy America's potential for energy independence at the same time imposing draconian taxes designed to obliterate the middle class and make the lower class abjectly and forever dependent on the largesse of big government. In short, galloping socialism on the way to freedom-annihilating Communism!

Yup.  She's onto him.

Cue full-on crazy…..

A Marxist-Inspired Disaster Central

The route to Obama's hate-America agenda is and always has been to create Alinsky-inspired widespread-and-sustained chaos, the better to keep people off balance, riddled with anxiety, and hoping for the redemption of big government. How else to explain the spate of unprecedented tragedies, catastrophes, and calamities that have struck our own country and around the world, for instance the three Muslim terrorist attacks in the U.S., including the attack at Fort Hood in Texas in which 13 were murdered and 30 injured; the wanton murder of police officers in Seattle; the explosion on New York's Madison Avenue (which authorities claimed was a burst pipe); the calamitous earthquakes in Haiti and Chile; the eruption of the volcano in Iceland that disrupted European air traffic; the airline crash in Russia that killed the president of Poland, on and on.

Also, I stubbed my toe on the coffee table this morning.  Damn you, Obama!

But really… Volcanoes?  Police shootings?  Earthquakes?  Plane crashes?  Seriously, one has to wonder if Joan is crazy to suggest that the Obama regime is responsible for all those domestic incidents and international natural disasters.

Crazy, you say, to suggest that the Obama regime is responsible for these domestic incidents and international "natural" disasters? Maybe…but consider HAARP. No, not the instrument that David played to King Saul to alleviate the old man's depression. That harp had only one "a" in it. This HAARP is an acronym for High Frequency Active Auroral Research Project. The project, controlled by the U.S. Army and Navy, is made up of a dense grouping of gigantic antennae in Alaska which has the ability to generate several billion watts of energy that can be directed at any target. "Any target" meaning an underground fault, an airplane in flight, a fulminating volcano, or a mid-ocean oil rig!

Okay.  This is like a bad James Bond movie now.

 

I tell you though… I think Obama and the U.S. Army and Navy need to do a better job about keeping HAARP secret.

But trust me…. we've only touched the surface of the crazy here.

And what another coincidence — the BP explosion took place just a day before Earth Day!

Also, if you scramble the letters in "Deepwater Horizon", you get "A Rezoned White Pro", which indicates that Obama is going to put all white people in concentration camps!

According to Mississippi resident and radio disk jockey Gina Miller, a number of culprits might be to blame for the disaster:

Oh, well then.  If a Mississippi deejay thinks it, it must be true……

• Al Gore had previously encouraged environmental nut jobs to engage in civil disobedience against the construction of coal plants that don't have carbon capture technology. "Eco-terrorists" exist and have done millions of dollars worth of criminal damage.
  
• A theory on a Russian website claims North Korea is behind this. The article claims that North Korea torpedoed the Deepwater Horizon, which was apparently built and financed by South Korea…two torpedoes launched from a submarine could cause those things to happen.
  
• International "suspects"…range from Muslim terrorists to the Red Chinese, Venezuela and beyond. Remember that China and Russia are drilling out there, as well, and they would benefit from America cutting back on our own drilling.

"As soon as this happened," Miller wrote, "my gut told me it was no accident. This kind of thing rarely happens, and the timing was just too 'coincidental'…"

So, the BP oil explosion is a conspiracy involving Obama, Al Gore, Muslims, North Korea, Venezuela, and the Red Chinese, using an array of antennae located in Alaska.

Makes perfect sense.

At this date — late-June 2010 — Obama has not escaped plunging approval ratings and a complete erosion of public trust. To an accusation that his "cool" demeanor is inappropriate in the face of the catastrophic oil spill, he says he is suppressing his anger in the service of solving the problem. But Americans know better. By now, every statement emanating from the White House is simply not credible. In fact the truth is often exactly the opposite of what Obama and his henchmen say.

No, it's not anger — at BP, capitalist industry, George Bush, his own impotence — that Obama is suppressing. It is unvarnished glee!

With Sue Simmons!

Glee at the prospect that the industries the spill is destroying (fishing, manufacturing, tourist, et al) and the incalculably high cost of recovery, will force people to throw up their hands in despair and come running to the government for support, and just as important will allow him to nationalize the energy industry, ala Castro, Putin, Chavez, Morales, name your totalitarian!

"Peron, Peron, Peron, Peron, Peron…."

Obama Spits on Every Genuine Solution

Why is Obama still obdurately refusing to use the many technologies that have proven effective in stemming and solving oil spills over the years?

In a riveting article in the San Francisco Chronicle, Yobie Benjamin details the futility of the "cap the gusher" strategy being used, and the perils, both environmental and to human health, of the toxic dispersants being used ("all they do is hide the oil from the surface").

"In 1993," Benjamin writes, "a massive 800-million-gallon oil spill happened in Saudi Arabia. Saudi Aramco successfully cleaned up that spill. The lead engineer that cleaned that spill was an American engineer who worked for Aramco. His name is Nick Pozzi who is currently based in Houston. Pozzi offered his solution to BP and the Coast Guard and they promptly dismissed his solution. Pozzi reported that in Saudi Arabia he successfully used flour (yes, flour for baking) and straw (yes, the one you feed to livestock) to absorb oil. The congealed oil was then mechanically collected and properly disposed of. In the Saudi disaster, Pozzi claimed 85% of the oil was recovered and was still usable."

Well, this is a little different.  This is a deep-water oil spill.  Most of the spilled oil is underwater, floating in plumes.  You can't skim most of it up.  But let's not let facts get in the way.

And what about the Florida man who is all over TV right now, demonstrating the stunning efficacy of using straw to absorb the oil and turn the water from jet-black murkiness to crystal-clear transparency?

I think she's referring to the Sham-Wow guy now.

BP hasn't gotten back to him, he said.

No, of course not.

Well, the article goes on, drilling new depths of crazy.  You can read the whole thing by clicking the link above.  Basically, Joan speculates that Obama, BP, Deep Water Horizon, Halliburton, Citigroup, Goldman-Sachs, the U.S. Government, Warren Buffet, George Soros, John Holdren, and "the convicted felon and Obama pal" Tony Rezko have financial involvement with NALCO, the company that manufactures the toxic dispersants being used to "clean up" the horrific oil spill.  Specifically, she writes:

…[E]vidence has also been uncovered that as soon as the oil rig blew, the masterminds of the big-government/big-corporation complex went to work to maximize the financial reward from the disaster — "never let a good crisis go to waste." Investors were advised to buy BP stock, and a major symposium was held involving several key players in the Obama Administration, which focused on modern technological advances in developing 'clean water.' NALCO is the major source for such 'technological advances.'

"Ahhhhh'" as Steve Martin said in The Jerk, "It's a profit deal!"

Well, color me skeptical, Joan.  I think if your theories catch on, the smart investment would be shares of tin foil.