Not That There’s Anything Right With It . . .

Ken AshfordRepublicans, Sex/Morality/Family Values1 Comment

Regarding the recent conservative push to resurrect the same-sex marriage issue, Paul Waldman has the best tagline:

I can’t say for sure, but it does seem that some Republican senators spend more time thinking about homosexuality than any gay person I know. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I don’t know how often Republican senators think about homosexuality and gay marriage, but what they think about it is . . . well, pretty bizarre sometimes. In trying to explain how traditional marriage is being "assualted", some of these morons offer the most nutball arguments to come down the pike. Cue Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tx) with this analogy from outer space:

"It does not affect your daily life very much if your neighbor marries a box turtle. But that does not mean it is right….Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife."

Mmmmm. Gay person = box turtle. Marriage to someone of the same gender = marriage to an animal. (The joke going around is that Mrs. Cornyn apparently isn’t upset that she married an ass, so why should anyone else be?)

Tell, you what, Sen. Cornyn. If the day comes when people are marrying turtles, I’m right there beside you. Whatever amendment or law you want to pass to stop the scourge of man-amphibian weddings, count me in. Or EVEN man-reptile weddings. But until then, shut up. And just when you thought it couldn’t get sillier, along comes Sen. Rick Santorum (R.-Pa), always good for a laugh on this topic. Today, he was assuaging the fears of us heterosexuals. What will happen if gays are allowed to marry?

"Will heterosexuals continue to – you know – copulate, to have sex?" the Senator asked. "Sure! But will they build families?"

Thanks for the reassurance, Rick, but what moron thought that heterosexuals were going to stop copulating because gays (elsewhere) are getting married?

And the answer to your second question – "But will they build families?" — is also "Sure!" What does Santorum think is going to happen? "You know, honey, I WANT to have children with you and raise a family, but — well — gays are allowed to marry, so . . . let’s just stay childless."

The nice thing about the same-sex amendment being discussed in the Senate is that it forces these goons to put their bigoted ignorance into the public record, and perma-sealed into history. Someday, future generations will look back and wonder how people could be that ignorant — kind of like the way most of us look at the 27 morons who voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1964.